My day of rest...

 Today at school we had the new student fiesta. It was fun. There was traditional Costa Rican dancing and of course food, which was delicious. Afterwards, everyone just hung out and talked. I really love when we have parties at school because I love the environment and the fellowship. I really enjoyed getting to know some new people and spending some time with friends.

After school, I started working on somethings that I thought I had to do. However, my attempts to be "productive" were short lived because I was exhausted. My nights of staying up late caught up to me and I literally could not keep my eyes open or focus on what I was trying to do so I took a nap. When I woke up, I felt ready to go, but I decided not to start to working and instead I had an afternoon/evening of relaxation. You see the things that I thought I had to do today I didn't actually have to do at all, so I said, "no, I am going to relax". My attempts to relax this week haven't been very good because my mind was constantly focused on the things I that I really did need to do, but now everything is done for this week and now I can kick back and relax.

Having time to relax and taking a break from work is important, I have to admit I don't do this nearly as much as I should. I was reading about the Sabbath the other day in the Old Testament and thanks to a friend I have been reading about what it means to rest. That time with God and that time of rest is so crucial in our lives, I don't think many people realize that. Having day of rest, a Sabbath, was not a suggestion, it was a command.

Thank you Lord for this day of rest and relaxation.

So happy!

I just finished doing a happy dance and ran out of room saying, "we have a hotel"! Yay! For the past week, I have been planning a trip to Panama for students who need to get their visas renewed before the end of September and everything has come together today! Gracias a Dios! We will be going Bocas del Toro Province, Panama in 2 weeks. The Bed and Breakfast that we will be staying at is literally on the water, how cool is that. We will also have hammocks and the free use of kayaks, I am so excited. We were also able to receive a discount on our rooms, thank you Lord!

Also, school went very well today. I was a bit more tired today than the past couple of days, but I know I will be able to rest tonight. In class, we are still reviewing material from the last tri-mester and then tomorrow we will be starting new material for this tri-mester. I know I have said this before, but I love school. After school, I came home and started planning the trip to Panama because I knew I wouldn't be able to relax until I found a hotel. Then at 2pm, I went over to a friend's house and practiced my Spanish with her Tica mom and in return I helped her practice her English. That was a lot of fun, I think we are going to make our meetings  a weekly thing.

Now, I am about to go study, relax, and then go to bed. I also started a new book this week called: "The Prodigal God" by: Timothy Keller, I am only in chapter one but so far it is good. Thank you Lord for another wonderful day. 

It's Wednesday

This morning I went to bed at 1:00am and woke up at 6:45am. Yesterday, I got to skype with my best friend Emily and early this morning I got to skype with my good friend John, who currently lives in Kenya. Even though, I didn't get a lot of sleep talking with them and seeing their faces was completely worth it. I love my friends.

I know I said I would write before 5pm, but today was very busy. However, even though I was busy all day today was a wonderful day. I was able to get a lot of things done that I have been putting off and I was able to cook, which I really enjoyed doing. When cooking, I love watching how all the ingredients come together. My least favorite part of cooking a meal is when I get to watch someone take their first bite. I don't like the anticipation of waiting to see if they like their food or not, but I love seeing someone's face when they really do enjoy their food.

Today, I made way too much chicken fettucini alfredo with mixed vegetables for a family at school so when my host brother, Oscar, came home from work I offered him some. I personally don't care for fettucini alfredo so I was nervous to see how he would react. After his first bite, he said he liked it a lot. Then I walked out of the room to put some towels away and I heard my host mom (who doesn't eat pasta) ask again if he liked it (to see if he really did), and he did. When I came back in, he said I should open my own restaurant in Costa Rica, that made me smile.

Thank you Lord for another wonderful day. 

Classes have begun!

Today was my first day back at school and I loved it! My new teachers are very nice and I know that I am going to really enjoy being in class with them, along with my wonderful classmates. Sarah, Mark, and I are all in the same class again this tri, which really makes me happy because I love laughing with them. We also have two additional students in each of our classes which is going to be good and add more diversity to the group.

I think I may be more excited about this tri-mester than I was my first tri-mester. I didn't know that could be possible because I was super excited about my first tri, but there is just something different about this tri-mester. I was nervous during my break from school because I thought I would be overwhelmed this tri, but now I am starting to get organized and delegating some activities and saying no to the things that I feel will make me feel overwhelmed.

Looking back on the past few weeks, I can see that God has been answering my unspoken prayers. A lot of things have come together that I didn't think would. Help has come even when I didn't ask for it out loud. I love how God places people and things in our lives at just the right moments. Thank you Lord. In the park, God didn't show me what I wanted to see or give me the answers I wanted to hear, but He was there with me just like He always is. He spoke the words that I needed to hear, "just be". I didn't understand those words at first, but now I am starting to. Those words to me are like those described in Proverbs 16:24, "...a honeycomb. Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones". Only my Lord could speak to me on such an intimate level with only two words, oh how I love Him. I am not going to describe what those words mean to me or how God is using them in my life for now, because those words are so wonderfully intimate that at this time I can't even articulate their meaning in such a way that could show you how much those words have touched my heart. The only thing I can do right now is praise God.

Being Content

Paul in Philippians wrote, "I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am in" (4:11b).

When I was in the park, the words "just be" came to my mind, but I think that was almost like an unfinished sentence, what does that mean to just be? Well in Paul's life it meant just be content. Be content in all circumstances. Do you think being content is something that Paul just knew how to do? I don't think so, because he says, "I have learned to be content".

Transitions in life are not easy for someone who finds comfort in stability and routines, but being content in all circumstances is something that I am learning to do. Not being content in myself, but being content in the Lord and in knowing that all things work together for good (Romans 8:28).

Siempre fiel, always faithful. God is always faithful.

Today, I woke up this morning with a spring in my step. I am not a morning person by any means, but tomorrow school starts, yay! I know I sound like a little child, but I am very excited to be starting my second tri-mester at ILE. I have loved my first tri and I am looking forward to seeing what God has planned for this upcoming tri.

This afternoon, I am going with a few students to pick up their new Costa Rican cellphones and then after that I will be heading downtown to do a prayer walk around the city. It has been a while since I have walked around downtown and prayed over the city and the people. I said before that I wanted to start doing a weekly prayer walk so today is going to start week one. 

Loving the Rain...

                                                            All I Need - JJ Heller

As I have gone back through and reread some of my postings, I have realized how depressing they have sounded lately so as a result I have made a new rule when it comes to blogging starting tomorrow I am only going to blog before 5pm. I had a professor in college tell me that your mind thinks more clearly in the afternoon than at any other time during the day. My blogs lately have been based off of my emotions but not all of my emotions, just mostly the ones that have formed at night when I am tired. Those moments of exhaustion or sadness take up only a small portion of my day.

I am an optimist and for the most part I am a happy person, because I know that I can trust in the Lord and that everything is going to be okay. Homesickness is just a part of life and a part of growing-up, it is a normal process to go through and everyone goes through it differently. For me, it has been crying and admitting that I miss the ones that I love. However, now that I have spent time crying and that I have realized my struggle things are starting to look up.

I noticed the past couple weeks that there has been some things that I have been neglecting...1. my devotion and prayer time and 2. my alone time. Both of those things are essential for me. Today, the best part of the day was when I went for a walk. This afternoon, I walked in the rain and talked with God and it was great. I talked to Him about everything that has been on my heart and my mind lately, and I also listened for His response and truth.  It was wonderful, I loved it.

Everyone has their ups and their downs, and for the past few days I have shared mostly my downs, but what you haven't seen in those blogs is how much fun I am having with the new students and how much I am laughing. I have laughed so hard these past few weeks with friends and family, it has been great. I have also got to try new things and explore with new friends, which has been a lot of fun. I am also starting to come into my "element" as am taking on new leadership roles and becoming more involved in ministry here in Costa Rica.

Yesterday, I went to Valle del Sol with Candace, a new ILE student, and it was great. I love working with those kiddos and seeing their smiling faces. We also had a few new children come which is always nice to see. The ministry has really been growing (thank you God). Even though, Steve (the director/leader) is the States, the classroom with the younger kids has been doing good. Karla, the lead teacher, has really been doing a good job in leading the classroom. As the tri-mester starts, I am looking forward to getting more involved in helping with the behind the scenes preparations for Saturdays and doing some teaching as my Spanish continues to improve.

God is good all the time. Thank you all for your prayers and continued support.

Delayed-Response

I have written before in a past blog about my delayed-response when it comes to good byes, well here it is. I have noticed the past 3 nights as I have laid in bed crying that it was not only because I was exhausted, but I realized last night that I am going through a time of transitioning and change. The day that Kelly left and that my dad arrived was crazy and then I had the whole week with my dad which also flew by. Then I was preparing for the students to come and then I have been staying busy ever since. Even though, I enjoy being busy most of the time the other day I noticed I needed some solitude because I was beginning to lose my mind. A friend actually brought it to my attention when we were talking and she said, "are you okay? I feel like your mind is somewhere else"? Well she was right, my mind was somewhere else and I feel like it has been somewhere else ever since that day Kelly left and my dad arrived.

During the day, I have not been present in many of the things going on around me. My mind has usually been somewhere else, which was something that was starting to bother me which added to my frustration. I didn't know where my mind was going I was focusing on every thing that I thought I had to do or needed to do, instead of just being in the moment with people and with God. Then at night, when I would come home I would not only be exhausted but I would just start crying. Obviously, there was something going on.

Last night, it came to me that I had not been dealing with the change that is taking place around me. I had not cried about my dad leaving or about Kelly leaving or about all the things that are changing at home so as I laid in bed I just cried about everything. I don't like crying. I think that is one of the reasons that my emotions have been delayed until now, and I am also task-oriented so if you keep me busy I will ignore myself and my emotions.

I think I struggle with adjusting to big life changes and now there are many that are taking place so I am learning to adjust in my own way, but first I needed to cry about it. I have to accept the things I can not change and have no control over. God is in control over everything and He has our best interests at heart. He knows what is going on before we do. He knew that I needed this time of losing my mind to let go and just admit my emotions and cry. He knows that admitting my emotions is still not as easy as I would like it to be, and that I hide many of my emotions, because I think of them as weak. But I am weak and I don't have to worry about that, because God is strong.