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Well today was a strange day. I woke up this morning full of energy and ready to go, but my mind was elsewhere. I didn't feel like going to church today or being around people, so I separated myself from all English speakers for most of the day. Instead of going to the church I normally go to I went to a Catholic church and attended mass. I went downtown to a church called Catedral Metropolitana.

Every time I go to mass, I automatically think of my grandparents. While growing up, every now and then I would attend mass with one of my grandparents. I like attending mass, but of course my beliefs don't match up with that of the Catholic church. I attended mass this morning in order to gain more of a cultural insight into Costa Rica. When I walked into the church I was speechless. I have never seen that many people in one church building (and I have been to a few of the mega churches in the USA). The Catedral Metropolitana is huge and has over six services. However, this morning there were still thousands of people in that church at 12pm. I had to stand along the back wall along with the others who showed up on time. There was just no room for people to sit so as the service went on others would come and stand along the walls or in the doorways.

I stood there in amazement and in sadness looking around at the people and I tried following the service the best that I could. I recited along with the rest of the people the things that I believe and would stop when we got to something that I didn't. I stayed for most of the service, but I left before communion. Once I left I started walking around and doing a prayer walk.

I also started to people watch and I tried to observe some of the cultural things that I learned in my language class about the woman's role in the culture. I wanted to see if I could see any single women walking around by themselves and I also tried to see if there were any groups of women, who were not related, in a group without a man. The single women that I did see were either coming from church with their mother or another family member, going to work (they were dressed in a uniform) or coming from work, and the others were on their way home. I hardly saw any women walking around by themselves without a man or their mother. I then thought wow I must stick out more than I thought because I walk around all the time by myself. I also eat by myself in restaurants, which I know is culturally not acceptable. I have seen two women eating by themselves at different places, but one was on break from work (she worked at the restaurant) and the other one was married (and I think she was also a student at a university because she was studying textbooks and doing what looked like homework). You see, if you are a single woman in Costa Rica then you stay at home unless you are out with a guy, going to or coming home from work, or going to church. It is not common to see women out walking around by themselves, especially if they are older women.

After, I finished having lunch. I continued walking around and people watching. I tried to find my favorite street artists, but I didn't see any of them out today so I headed home to do homework. Afterwards, I went and had dinner with a group of students which was a lot of fun. It felt nice to be around people after being by myself all day. I love laughing and talking with friends.

Yesterday, I was also able to have dinner with a good friend, which was really nice. During the day, I was able to go to Valle del Sol and see the kiddos. Kate and Audrey, two girls from the school, joined me. It was wonderful as always. I love seeing those kids every week. I am really going to miss seeing them this weekend when I am in Panama. This weekend they are having a party, which I know is going to be a lot of fun.

Only Love Remains - JJ Heller

Scenes of you come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces
That will grow in the ground
I know that I deserve to die
For the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus
As you tear me apart

Please kill the liar
Kill the thief in me
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains

You burn away the ropes that bind
And hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth
I begin to see reality
For the first time in my life
I know that I’m a shadow
But I’m dancing in your light

Teach me to be humble
Call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains