El martes, yo estoy alegre.

On Tuesday, I am happy. Today has been a good day. I spent a lot of time in the word yesterday and woke up today feeling refreshed and ready to go. I still am working through my issues but God is in control and I put trust in the Lord.

Today, like most Tuesdays I played volleyball and did zumba, a workout dance class. My classes today went fairly well. Although, I am nerviosa (nervous) about my exams next week but everything will be fine. I am preparing this week so everything will be okay.

I wanted to share with you today my favorite Psalm. I had a friend ask me about my favorite Bible verse but it is hard for me to pick one. Chances are if you ask me that question it will be different every time because God uses different verses and stories to speak into my life at certain times. One of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 143. This Psalm has spoken to my soul in times of hardships or trials. I have read this Psalm numerous times through out the years and I have cried over this Psalm. Right now, I am memorizing a portion of this Psalm in Spanish, verse 8, but, because this Psalm means so much to me I am going to share the whole thing. I would recommend reading this slowly and letting the words speak from your heart, say the Psalm like it was written as a prayer.

"O LORD, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief. Do not bring your servant into judgment for no one living is righteous before you. The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead. So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed. I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Answer me quickly, O LORD; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD, for I hide myself in you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good spirit lead me on level ground. For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life, in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble. In your unfailing love, silence me enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant."

Amen.

Update and Prayer Request

This past weekend was really good. It was great to get away and relax. It was really nice to sit on the beach and watch people surf. As one of my friend's said, "God has some imagination". While sitting on the beach and walking around I was able to see things that I have never seen before in real life. Like a competitive surf competition or parrots in the wild. Also, I have never seen a gray beach but it was really nice and we had a lot of fun relaxing and taking in God's amazing imagination.

I wish I could say that the weekend ended well but it didn't. Nothing really bad happened (Praise the Lord) but the possibility was there. Traveling at night even with a group is not fun in Costa Rica, and I wouldn't recommend it. If I had known that the bus was going to take 4 hours we would have left earlier. I am not going to go into details but it was a very stressful evening for me. So stressful that I came back and almost had a panic attack (I am prone to having situational panic attacks). Today, I have cried on and off through out most of the day both because of the stress of the situation and in praise to God for His protection.

The bad experience of traveling back was necessary for growth because now I can be more caution in the future. Also because of that experience I now recognize an issue that I have to work on. You can never avoid an issue or problem in your life forever sooner or later you are going to be forced to face it. My issue goes back to a bad experience from a few years ago on a previous mission trip and from a broken relationship. Well now I am staring directly at the pain and my imperfection, and I am praying for the next step to take.

I share a bit of this with you to let you know that the mission field is not always easy but God is good. We are never sure why God allows certain things to happen or affect us, but what matters is how you respond to the situation and to God. When I said His will be done I knew that there would be hardships, but I trust in Him. Jesus' life was not easy so why should you expect yours to be any different.

Please pray for continue protection and please also pray for my heart. I say my my heart because it is aching right now and although I don't wish to share all of the details I could still use your continued prayers.

Taking off for the weekend...

My exciting news was going to be that I was planning on going to the Dominican Republic but I decided not to go. Sometimes the timing and everything just isn't right. I felt like God was telling me to be wise and not to go so I am not going. However, I am now going to take a weekend trip to the beach for two days. I have been needing a break so I am taking this weekend to relax and see something outside of the city. I have not got the chance to really explore outside of downtown San Jose. So I am super excited to hop on a bus at 6am for 3 hours to go to the beach and explore an new area in Costa Rica. I won't be writing this weekend but I will have stories to share on Sunday. Have a great weekend!

We all become children again....

There was a guy in chapel today who talked about becoming like a child. He said, "Trying to learn a language is like becoming a child again". Which is so true. Every day I come home from school eat lunch and then take a nap or do homework. All of which a child does depending on his or her age, but what really compares me to a child is what I am learning. I am learning to speak all over again. At 23 years old, I am trying to learn how to say, " I want to go to the park" or more simply, "I need to go to the bathroom".  Actually, forget about making sentences I am still trying to learn my numbers and the names of the objects in my house.

Being a child again at an adult age is not easy because we have to let go of our independence and learn to depend on other people. We go from knowing alot to knowing nothing at all. We going from being effective to being less effective. We going from knowing how to communicate to not knowing how to communicate.

If you don't have humility you can forget about learning another language because you just won't do it. You have to be humble and being willing to make mistakes. You also have to be willing to be corrected and laugh at yourself.

I laugh at myself almost everyday because I realize how ridiculous I sound when trying to speak Spanish. I sit at my desk after school and I can hear my host mom's grandson, David, who is 4 years old studying and learning the exact same the as I am.

Although, being like a child is not so bad because everyday I am learning something new. Also, everyday I am meeting someone new because when trying to learn a language you will talk to just about anyone to be able to practice. Being a child is not so bad because the world is your playground once again. Although, there are days when I wish I could have the energy of child.   

Sacrifice..

" Lord, what will you give me today to offer back to you?" -Elisabeth  Elliot

The answer to this question is going to be different for everyone but every day, as Christians, we need to be thankful and offer everything up to God. Some days we may be required to sacrifice something that we, with our controlling human spirit, are not ready to let go of. Being thankful is hard to do in the midst of suffering because we can't see the bigger picture or understand why God has allowed this to happen. We just know that we are in pain and are very angry. This is where we have to offer it up to God, the Creator of the Universe.

Everything good that we have comes from Him: our friends, our husbands/wifes, our boyfriends/girlfriends, our children, our material possessions, even our health. All of these things need to be offered up to God. 

We have to live a life of sacrifice because God demands our all in life. When need to trust in the Lord. Some days we may sacrifice things that we are not ready to let go of, but we can offer God the sacrifice of our broken hearts. All of our sorrows and gladness need to be given to God, day in day out (Elisabeth  Elliot ). He who meets all of our needs perfectly according to His will, is all loving. He understands our pain and our desires. He is in control but by His grace He allows us to give Him our sacrifices of the flesh and the opportunity to grow deeper into a relationship with Him.

Exciting News....

I have some exciting news but I can´t share it quite yet. This Friday I will let all of you know what it is. I am so excited for this weekend and to be able to participate in a different kind of ministry for at least a little while.

This past week has been a complete 360 degree turn from a few weeks ago when I was really down. A few weeks ago, I started loosing track about why I was here and why God has sent me here. Satan works in many ways and when you are lonely and tired, it is a prime opportunity for him to try and get you off track from what God is doing in your life. Having a lot of time here in Costa Rica to think is good as long as you keep your mind and eyes fixed on what is good. The key is to always keeping your focus on the Lord even during times of sorrow or trials. The Lord is my strength and my stronghold, on Him rest my everything.

The darkness does not stay around for long, even though when you are going through the darkness it can feel like a long time. God is good and my attitude and my mind have been completely focused on what is good. You would be surprise how much your attitude can change when you focus in the moment and focus on the Lord. In my opinion, it is always more fun to be an optimist then it is to be a pessimist. Each day I wake up excited to see what God is going to do and what He has in store, and this attitude does not just come from when the Lord blesses you or gives you want you want. If you truly trust in the Lord, you will have a good attitude because you know that He is in control.

I have been filling my mind not only with a ton of Spanish but also a lot of Scripture and wisdom from people who have gone before me. Like I said before, I stopped reading the news which I found to be really depressing, and instead I am reading the Bible and some Christian books and articles, like the one I read on Tom and Diane Hallam (thanks for sharing that article with me). My reading time and time of solitude have now turned into a precious time for me to be with the Lord and reflect on His love and grace. I did this all before but now I have extended my time so instead of going into my time of devotion with say just 30 minutes, I don´t put any limits on it and I just let go and give that time to the Lord. It is has been a wonderful time and I look forward to it every day.

Satan really tries to bring the followers of God down into darkness here at ILE, but it is great to see all of the families and missionaries staying strong. Even though many people here have been facing some real hardships (adjustment issues, family issues, health issues, etc.), they have all been able to find strength and hope in the Lord. It has also been wonderful to be surrounded and supported by such a strong body of believers.

When you have time to think....

Time that is something we, as Americans, are very concerned with. Where are we spending our time, is our time productive, or how much time do we have. If someone is late is it considered rude. Here in Costa Rica it is like you have nothing but time. You can always have more time but not more life as the saying here goes. Life is what is happening now in the moment not later on or in an hour but right now.

But as an American, I am not use to having so much time. In the States I am so concerned with filling my time with this that and the other thing, that sometimes I forget to just relax and take in the moments that are set before me. Sometimes I even dreaded having time because then that would mean I would actually have to think through that disagreement or frustration from that day. Where as if I were busy I wouldn't "have time" to focus on what was bothering me or focus that person who hurt me.

Well here I have plenty of time to think about God, life, and my emotions. When I am alone I often do reflect on God and my life. That can be great but it can also be hard. Those moments force me to see me for who I am, but it also allows me to see God for who He is. Faithful, good, just, and many more things that I realize I am not. This time allows me to see me as me and see God as God, which is wonderful. It just shows me how amazing God is and how much more work I need to do in my own life. I am not perfect but in God I can see the woman/the human being that I want to be. Each day is a day that allows me to take one step closer to being that woman. As God continues to form me and mold me into the woman He designed me to be.