Taking off for the weekend...

My exciting news was going to be that I was planning on going to the Dominican Republic but I decided not to go. Sometimes the timing and everything just isn't right. I felt like God was telling me to be wise and not to go so I am not going. However, I am now going to take a weekend trip to the beach for two days. I have been needing a break so I am taking this weekend to relax and see something outside of the city. I have not got the chance to really explore outside of downtown San Jose. So I am super excited to hop on a bus at 6am for 3 hours to go to the beach and explore an new area in Costa Rica. I won't be writing this weekend but I will have stories to share on Sunday. Have a great weekend!

We all become children again....

There was a guy in chapel today who talked about becoming like a child. He said, "Trying to learn a language is like becoming a child again". Which is so true. Every day I come home from school eat lunch and then take a nap or do homework. All of which a child does depending on his or her age, but what really compares me to a child is what I am learning. I am learning to speak all over again. At 23 years old, I am trying to learn how to say, " I want to go to the park" or more simply, "I need to go to the bathroom".  Actually, forget about making sentences I am still trying to learn my numbers and the names of the objects in my house.

Being a child again at an adult age is not easy because we have to let go of our independence and learn to depend on other people. We go from knowing alot to knowing nothing at all. We going from being effective to being less effective. We going from knowing how to communicate to not knowing how to communicate.

If you don't have humility you can forget about learning another language because you just won't do it. You have to be humble and being willing to make mistakes. You also have to be willing to be corrected and laugh at yourself.

I laugh at myself almost everyday because I realize how ridiculous I sound when trying to speak Spanish. I sit at my desk after school and I can hear my host mom's grandson, David, who is 4 years old studying and learning the exact same the as I am.

Although, being like a child is not so bad because everyday I am learning something new. Also, everyday I am meeting someone new because when trying to learn a language you will talk to just about anyone to be able to practice. Being a child is not so bad because the world is your playground once again. Although, there are days when I wish I could have the energy of child.   

Sacrifice..

" Lord, what will you give me today to offer back to you?" -Elisabeth  Elliot

The answer to this question is going to be different for everyone but every day, as Christians, we need to be thankful and offer everything up to God. Some days we may be required to sacrifice something that we, with our controlling human spirit, are not ready to let go of. Being thankful is hard to do in the midst of suffering because we can't see the bigger picture or understand why God has allowed this to happen. We just know that we are in pain and are very angry. This is where we have to offer it up to God, the Creator of the Universe.

Everything good that we have comes from Him: our friends, our husbands/wifes, our boyfriends/girlfriends, our children, our material possessions, even our health. All of these things need to be offered up to God. 

We have to live a life of sacrifice because God demands our all in life. When need to trust in the Lord. Some days we may sacrifice things that we are not ready to let go of, but we can offer God the sacrifice of our broken hearts. All of our sorrows and gladness need to be given to God, day in day out (Elisabeth  Elliot ). He who meets all of our needs perfectly according to His will, is all loving. He understands our pain and our desires. He is in control but by His grace He allows us to give Him our sacrifices of the flesh and the opportunity to grow deeper into a relationship with Him.

Exciting News....

I have some exciting news but I can´t share it quite yet. This Friday I will let all of you know what it is. I am so excited for this weekend and to be able to participate in a different kind of ministry for at least a little while.

This past week has been a complete 360 degree turn from a few weeks ago when I was really down. A few weeks ago, I started loosing track about why I was here and why God has sent me here. Satan works in many ways and when you are lonely and tired, it is a prime opportunity for him to try and get you off track from what God is doing in your life. Having a lot of time here in Costa Rica to think is good as long as you keep your mind and eyes fixed on what is good. The key is to always keeping your focus on the Lord even during times of sorrow or trials. The Lord is my strength and my stronghold, on Him rest my everything.

The darkness does not stay around for long, even though when you are going through the darkness it can feel like a long time. God is good and my attitude and my mind have been completely focused on what is good. You would be surprise how much your attitude can change when you focus in the moment and focus on the Lord. In my opinion, it is always more fun to be an optimist then it is to be a pessimist. Each day I wake up excited to see what God is going to do and what He has in store, and this attitude does not just come from when the Lord blesses you or gives you want you want. If you truly trust in the Lord, you will have a good attitude because you know that He is in control.

I have been filling my mind not only with a ton of Spanish but also a lot of Scripture and wisdom from people who have gone before me. Like I said before, I stopped reading the news which I found to be really depressing, and instead I am reading the Bible and some Christian books and articles, like the one I read on Tom and Diane Hallam (thanks for sharing that article with me). My reading time and time of solitude have now turned into a precious time for me to be with the Lord and reflect on His love and grace. I did this all before but now I have extended my time so instead of going into my time of devotion with say just 30 minutes, I don´t put any limits on it and I just let go and give that time to the Lord. It is has been a wonderful time and I look forward to it every day.

Satan really tries to bring the followers of God down into darkness here at ILE, but it is great to see all of the families and missionaries staying strong. Even though many people here have been facing some real hardships (adjustment issues, family issues, health issues, etc.), they have all been able to find strength and hope in the Lord. It has also been wonderful to be surrounded and supported by such a strong body of believers.

When you have time to think....

Time that is something we, as Americans, are very concerned with. Where are we spending our time, is our time productive, or how much time do we have. If someone is late is it considered rude. Here in Costa Rica it is like you have nothing but time. You can always have more time but not more life as the saying here goes. Life is what is happening now in the moment not later on or in an hour but right now.

But as an American, I am not use to having so much time. In the States I am so concerned with filling my time with this that and the other thing, that sometimes I forget to just relax and take in the moments that are set before me. Sometimes I even dreaded having time because then that would mean I would actually have to think through that disagreement or frustration from that day. Where as if I were busy I wouldn't "have time" to focus on what was bothering me or focus that person who hurt me.

Well here I have plenty of time to think about God, life, and my emotions. When I am alone I often do reflect on God and my life. That can be great but it can also be hard. Those moments force me to see me for who I am, but it also allows me to see God for who He is. Faithful, good, just, and many more things that I realize I am not. This time allows me to see me as me and see God as God, which is wonderful. It just shows me how amazing God is and how much more work I need to do in my own life. I am not perfect but in God I can see the woman/the human being that I want to be. Each day is a day that allows me to take one step closer to being that woman. As God continues to form me and mold me into the woman He designed me to be.

Welcome to Church...

I do go to a Spanish service on Sundays but I also listened to this sermon today and thought that I would share it with all of you. This sermon spoke to me today in many ways.

Little by Little

Saturday is becoming my favorite day of the week.

I woke up this morning and went to the Feria, an open fresh market, by myself to buy some lettuce, apples, and grapes. (These will be my snacks for the week.) It was fantastic. I got to practice some of my Spanish and I ran into some friends. I have a hard time understanding the price of things but I am working on it. I also went to the pastry shop and bought a cinnamon Apple roll and a milk box for breakfast, the combination was deliciouso!

Afterwards, I came home dropped off my things and then went with Kelly and a friend to downtown San José. We went to a thrift shop and to the artisan market. Then I had to leave them because I had to get back by 12:45pm to eat lunch and go see the kids.

Before I headed home I walked down the sidewalk and stopped in at POPS, the best ice cream shop in Costa Rica. I ordered a frozen cappuccino to wake me up and then I decided to sit down and people watch. I sat for about 20 minutes watching the people walk up and down the sidewalk. I tried to take in some of the cultural views like how people interact with one another and how people dress. Skinny jeans are diffently the style here. It was alot of fun.

Then I headed to the bus stop to go home. I was so thankful that the bus was there when I arrived so I did not have to wait along time. Once I got on the bus, I do have to admit that I got a little teary eyed because it finally hit me today that I can do this on my own. I did alot of things on my own today and it felt great, I know the Lord was with me. For the past couple of weeks, I really doubted my ability to live in another country on my own because of how fearful I am. I am afraid of alot of things but little by little those fears are going away and I am learning how to live by myself.

I also went and worked with the kids today too which always brightens my week. It was so much fun and all of my kids showed up. I led the prayer again and I led the Spanish/English lesson/coloring time with the younger kids. They are learning alot and they are all so bright.

Today was a great day!