Sometimes in life we need help moving forward so instead of stepping forward we end up falling forward. That is how I feel right now, I am falling forward. I asked God for a while now to make it clear to me whether or not I should stay in Wisconsin for an additional 3 months (from January until March), and I received my answer today. I will be leaving Wisconsin come December. I am very thankful for having the opportunity to do an internship here and for my wonderful host family and for the great friends that I have made here. I am not always sure why God keeps me in one place for the amount of time that He does or why He has me leave, but I trust that He is in control.
October 25, 2010
Falling Forward
Anyone that knows me really well knows that I cannot walk in straight line. They also know that I tend to fall a lot and I usually end up falling forward (I am accident prone as my mother would say). I never plan on falling forward it just seems to happen. Although, there have been a few incidents when I did have some help falling forward.
October 20, 2010
October 18, 2010
Dreaming God's Dream
My friend, Danielle, recently wrote a blog about her dreams and talked about "dreaming God's dream". I have never really thought about my dreams in that way. Have my dreams been God's dream? I have always said, "God where ever you lead me, I will go". Maybe that is why my dreams have come true because they were never really my dreams to begin with....they were God's dreams for my life.
Of course when you are little you dream about growing up and becoming famous, but ever since I came to know the Lord my dreams have been based around the thought......how can I help others? How can I share the love and hope that God has given me with others? How can I glorify God?
When I was preparing for my first mission trip to Mexico I would dream about what God would do there and I prayed that God would be able to use me in some way, even though I felt completely inadequate. I never imagined that God would undo everything that I ever knew and put in my heart the desire to go into missions.
God is constantly surprising me and opening doors that I would have never of thought of opening. I am going to start praying that I start dreaming more of God's dreams and less of my own.
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9
Of course when you are little you dream about growing up and becoming famous, but ever since I came to know the Lord my dreams have been based around the thought......how can I help others? How can I share the love and hope that God has given me with others? How can I glorify God?
When I was preparing for my first mission trip to Mexico I would dream about what God would do there and I prayed that God would be able to use me in some way, even though I felt completely inadequate. I never imagined that God would undo everything that I ever knew and put in my heart the desire to go into missions.
God is constantly surprising me and opening doors that I would have never of thought of opening. I am going to start praying that I start dreaming more of God's dreams and less of my own.
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9
October 10, 2010
All of my Dreams have come true
I realized the other day as I was driving home from Lincoln, IL, after visiting some of my friends, that all of my dreams thus far have come true. Everything that I have wanted to do I have been able to do, but if I didn't have God, Christian friends, and some great mentors none of my dreams would have become a reality.
When I was considering going on my first overseas mission trip with CIY I was scared and uncertain. At first, I wasn't even going to go because I was too nervous. However, I met a nice old man at church that just wouldn't let it go! Every Sunday, Jim would ask me have you sent in your application for the mission trip and every week I would make up an excuse as to why I haven't finished it. Then finally one week I was like, "Okay God this man won't stop bugging me about this application so I am going to send it in, but if this is really what you want me to do than you are going to have to make it happen". Needless to say it wasn't a year later and I was on my way to Italy for the summer to work with some Team Expansion missionaries.
God has been so good to me. Even though I mess up a lot and get confused God is always with me guiding my way. I knew when I was younger that I wanted to help people for a living but I never thought I would be in ministry until I met God at my church's youth group. God met me there one Wednesday night and showed me that there was so much more to life than what is seen with the naked eye.
Since then my life has been one amazing roller-coaster ride. I love my life and the journey that God has me on.
Correction: The old man that I mentioned above is not really that old. :-D Jim and his wife Shelley are amazing people, whom I love dearly.
When I was considering going on my first overseas mission trip with CIY I was scared and uncertain. At first, I wasn't even going to go because I was too nervous. However, I met a nice old man at church that just wouldn't let it go! Every Sunday, Jim would ask me have you sent in your application for the mission trip and every week I would make up an excuse as to why I haven't finished it. Then finally one week I was like, "Okay God this man won't stop bugging me about this application so I am going to send it in, but if this is really what you want me to do than you are going to have to make it happen". Needless to say it wasn't a year later and I was on my way to Italy for the summer to work with some Team Expansion missionaries.
God has been so good to me. Even though I mess up a lot and get confused God is always with me guiding my way. I knew when I was younger that I wanted to help people for a living but I never thought I would be in ministry until I met God at my church's youth group. God met me there one Wednesday night and showed me that there was so much more to life than what is seen with the naked eye.
Since then my life has been one amazing roller-coaster ride. I love my life and the journey that God has me on.
Correction: The old man that I mentioned above is not really that old. :-D Jim and his wife Shelley are amazing people, whom I love dearly.
September 25, 2010
A Word from the Wise
From the greatest of all gifts, salvation in Christ, to the material blessings of any ordinary day (hot water, a pair of legs that work, a cup of coffee, a job to do and strength to do it), every good gift comes down from the Father of Lights. Every one of them is to be received gladly and, like gifts people give us, with thanks. Sometimes we want things we were not meant to have. Because He loves us, the Father says no. Faith trusts that no. Faith is willing not to have what God is not willing to give. Furthermore, faith does not insist upon an explanation. It is enough to know His promise to give what is good- He knows so much more about that than we do.
Elizabeth Elliot
September 22, 2010
Breaking out of Our Cages by Cheri Saccone (9/21/2010, Relevant Magazine)
Life has a way of moving us into what is famously known as a rut. We get stuck in a monotonous hamster wheel that is always moving, yet never going forward.
Most of us would say we want the kind of life that is filled with passion, novelty, faith, vibrancy, anticipation and depth. Does that describe your life? I wish it described mine. The truth is that these characteristics describe an undomesticated existence, one that requires constant risk and an ability to survive in the wild.
The wild is where God is walking.
The front yard is where most of us are staying.
One of the annoying things about living in the wild is that we have no idea what is going to happen next. The word “annoying” doesn’t really describe the feeling … it’s more like exhausting. Sure it’s exciting at first. But after a while it gets really hard trying to plan a life where plans are not part of the plan. The problem is that humanity has a deep need to create some sense of stability in this chaotic universe we have been thrown in to, yet at the same time we have an even deeper need to surrender control to the God who threw us here.
We are at war within ourselves between control and surrender, captivity and the wild.
Our souls long to run free while our skin wants to retain order.
Blending the two desires seems counterproductive. But this is what we end up doing most of the time. And sooner or later one of these desires will refuse to blend into the other and will take its rightful place as king in our hearts. Security and surrender war inside of us and more often security wins.
It looks different for different people. For some security is the status of wealth or career success. For others it is the comfort that comes from a predictable relationship, even if it is a toxic one. For some of us it is the affirmation from that person we’ve always been needing validation from, like a parent or spouse or boss. For others it is the 3-bedroom house with the white picket fence and the perfect dog that never rejects us and always makes us feel less alone. If it’s security in this world we are looking for, we will never find it fully, but we can come awfully close. And it is in that closeness that we lose sight of the freedom that comes with surrender.
Security seems almost within our reach, and we feel most stable when we can literally go through our days without thinking, completely on autopilot. Yes, that’s when we’ve hit the jackpot of feeling like we are in control. And yes, that’s exactly the point in which we begin to feel the true misery that comes along with this leash of our own making. We literally sew the leash thread by thread with each methodical decision we make in order to maintain order. It feels so good while we are knitting it together that we don’t even see it coming—the absolute domestication of our inner beings.
We were born for the jungle.
We live to build our own cages.
Something has gone terribly wrong when our leashes become our comfort rather than our horror.
Think back to the last time you took an actual risk; when you took a step into the unknown on purpose, when you didn’t know what would happen next and you felt the blood rush through your body because you felt the urgency of your existence, when you actually realized that you need God to survive, when you prayed for faith because that’s all you had. That was the last time you felt alive. So keep living and snip the beautifully tight leash you’ve spent so much time creating. Then you will breathe the breath of freedom … the freedom that only lives in the wild.
September 21, 2010
The One Thing
In life there are many things that I question and that I don't understand. I have never confessed to know everything in the world. I also know there are many things that I can't guarantee in life but there are a few things that I can guarantee: I can guarantee that I will make mistakes, I can guarantee that I will always be fascinated by nature and God's creatures, and I can guarantee that God will never change. No matter what happens I know that He loves me. I love this song by Paul Coleman something about it just speaks to my soul so take some time and listen to it and let the words sink into your life and believe that Creator of the universe really loves you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He always tells the truth and He always has your best interest at heart. He really loves you.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8
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