Matters of the Heart...

When I was in high school, I asked God to help me make a huge change in my life. I asked God to soften my heart. I remember being involved in the children's ministry at my church and I remember watching our children's minister working with the kids and I remember her crying a lot! She would always say that was just the way God made her and at the time I didn't understand why she would cry when someone got baptized or when she would talk about certain topics surrounding God. Showing such an outward display of emotions was foreign to me. I didn't understand it so I asked God to soften my heart so that I could understand and see some of the world as she sees it. I knew she understood something and knew something that I did not yet know.

Since then, God has softened my heart in many ways and He has put people in my life that teach me more and more about God, compassion, selflessness, and love. This softening process is taking a lot of time. This process has been more about moving from my mind to matters of the heart. As one of the ministers at my church said on Sunday, "The heart has reason that the reason of the mind doesn't understand". My rational logical realistic mind often tries to take over the matters of my heart, but my mind can't fully understand the reasons of my heart. It doesn't understand why I feel compassion or love for someone who makes the same mistakes over and over again or why I keep praying for that person. My mind doesn't understand why I long for something or someone I have never seen.

The heart is a mysterious and precious thing.

Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it".

Be cautious though not to close your heart off so much that it becomes hard. Soften your heart, allow God to transform it, and He will help you guard it. Remember He has your best interest at heart.

Psalm 37:4-5a, "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn.."

Take A Moment

Last night I was reminded of how important it is for all of us to just take a moment. I was driving home and when I got into the driveway I just shut off the car and sat there. I needed a moment, not some preplanned quiet time or some scheduled church event. I just wanted a moment to unwind, get myself together, and have some peace and quiet, which while I sat there I realized is something I have not heard in a while...complete silence. Oh it was wonderful! (Right until my cat decided to jump on top of my car and scare the living daylights out of me. Anyone interested in a cat? Just kidding I love that ball of fur, most of the time.)

Today I would like to encourage you all to just take a moment and slow down. Sit in your car a little longer before going inside. Take a break at work and go off by yourself. Have one moment today that is completely God's and yours. Shut off the t.v., the cellphone, and just breath. Whatever happens in that moment is between God and you. You don't have to do anything in that moment that you don't want to do. You don't have to do anything at all, just breath.

Take a break and slow down, even if it's just for a moment. Cherish that moment and thank God for that moment.

January Newsletter

   

     Last day of January! I can’t believe it! It feels like it was only a couple of weeks ago that I was getting off of the plane on my way back from Costa Rica and making my way through the O’Hare airport. It is hard to believe that it has been almost 9 months!

     At first, I had a hard time adjusting to the U.S.A. culture and I just wanted to stay home while I was trying to process everything. However, after a week or so I began to branch out and start exploring this land I call my “home”.  It felt great to see my family and friends again and enjoy some of my favorite meals together.

     After a few months of being home, I decided to buy a bike and shortly after that the weather started to get worse and I bought a car. God provided just the right car to meet my needs and my budget! Having that car has been a huge blessing as it has provided transportation to work, church, and everything in-between. Thanks God!

     I am currently working as a substitute teacher for all ages in Streator, IL. and some of the surrounding areas. I have really enjoyed this job and the new experiences it has offered. I have never taught in a public school so it has been interesting as I have had to learn how to teach in a structured environment. All of the teachers and secretaries I have met have been super helpful in this area. I am so grateful for God surrounding me with such nice people and for blessing me with many different job opportunities.

    My goal of paying off my student loans has been going really well. Whenever possible I have been paying ahead on my loans. Each time I make a payment I praise God and do a little happy dance! My financial needs have and continued to be met every step of the way.

     In order to continue paying off my student loans in a timely manner I have started to look into other job opportunities as well. Recently, I have had the chance to interview at a boy’s ranch in Wisconsin. At the end of this month, I will be traveling up to Wisconsin for a face to face interview. Please be praying for me as I visit the ranch on February 27th for a few days.

     Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and support! 

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:33-34

Life Goes On

Life goes on. For some people those words might be filled with hope and happiness, but for others those words hold a lot of unanswered questions and grief. You see if things are going well and you know that life goes on you feel good about the future and what it holds, but if you have found yourself in a difficult situation this season the future might not look so bright. However, those words whether they are welcomed or not do not become any less true. Life does indeed go on no matter what our current situation might be and some how we have to continue on living.

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal,” (2 Corinthians 4:18). All of the pain, sorrow, and hurt in this world are temporary. It will not last forever.  It could last 10 minutes, 10 days, or even 10 years, but it won’t last forever. When we fix our eyes only on the pain, sorrow, and hurt we can be tempted to given into the lie that this will last forever. However, for those who place their hope in the Lord it will end, and in light of eternity we can know that only good is promised to us and only good will come.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  God cannot lie and those words are not a bandage for temporary relief, but a promise spoken out of love and truth…a promise for both you and me. We can have hope in the Lord and in what He says, because He is the way, the truth, and the life. “Very truly I tell you, the one who believes has eternal life,” John 6:47. Life goes on.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
   He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
  he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever."

- Psalm 23

To Lana, With Love

The most beautiful funeral that I have ever attended so full of hope, love, and peace. Lana as always wanted even this moment to be about you and wanted to share God's love with you, thank you Elder family for sharing these precious moments with the world. I would encourage you to take some time and watch this video. Love you Lana, thank you.

Celebrating My Golden Birthday....

  On Saturday, near the end of my birthday celebration with some friends, my friend Han and I went out for coffee and as we were talking and just laughing about the days events and where life has taken us I started to thank God. I started thanking Him for my wonderful friends and family, and for allowing me to live this amazingly unique life. Basically, I was thanking Him for creating me. It always amazes me to look back and to see what God has done and to see Him in everything. The last 25 years of life have sure been great! I am so eagerly looking forward to the future and to see what He has planned ahead. The following day I celebrated with some some great friends at lunch and then with some family at dinner. It was wonderful to be surrounded by the people that I love and respect.

  It sure has been a while since I last wrote and a lot has been taking place, but overall all is well. God has been blessing my time at home and He has been reaffirming that this is where I am suppose to be for now. The sense of peace that I had and still have in being here is incredible. Right when I first came home, I started the debriefing process and adjustment back into American culture and into living at home. This was and has been an interesting time, but God has continued to teach me new things.  I have heard it said that, "learning is a never ending process," well whoever said that couldn't be more right! I am constantly learning new things about almost everything it feels like. This definitely keeps things interesting and keeps me thinking.

   Since I have been back in Illinois, I have been working in order to continue paying off my student loans and becoming a debt-free missionary. This is something that I have prayed about and thought about for a long time and God just continues to place it on my heart that paying off my loans must be done before I head out to serve long-term in cross-cultural ministry in Latin America. I have been working as a substitute teacher, babysitting, and doing a variety of other jobs to achieve this goal. God has been so good to me in this rough economy and He continues to bless me with job opportunities and last month I was even able to get a car that was affordable and reliable and that would not increase my debt. That was just an amazing surprise and answer to prayer. Having a car has allowed me to travel for work and bless others in different ways.

   I won't go on and continue to write, because this post could get really long if I tried to catch you up on everything that has happened these past few months. Although, I am currently working on a Christmas newsletter that will be going out soon highlighting some events from this past year and how God has been working in my life so I hope to have that out sometime within the next couple weeks. If you would like to receive my newsletter, please let me know by e-mailing me at cd_0687@yahoo.com

  Thank you all for reading! I hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

P.S. I updated the "About Me" page and "Pray" page if you want to check those out and see how you can be praying for me and my family, thanks.

Coming "Home"

This week I have been enjoying some quality time with one of my best friends, miss Emily Gillis (who is currently at a meeting.). I have loved spending time with her and seeing what her new daily routine is like since she started her new job at a children's home. I love seeing people living and working in area that they are passionate about and that is exactly where Emily is. I love it. It is joy to be apart of her life and seeing how God is working in and through her life, what a privilege! Thanks Em, love you.

It has been a little over two weeks since I have come "home". I put the word home in quotations because although this is technically my home, it no longer seems like it. There are three questions that I have been asked over and over again since my arrival back in the States. One is, "So what do you plan on doing next?". The other is, "So how long do you plan on staying here," and the first question that almost everyone asks, "How does it feel to be home"? In the beginning, I kind of shrugged my shoulders at this question or I said the generic, "good," until someone would ask, "really" and I would respond, "not really, it is still bittersweet". Now after a couple weeks, I can honestly say that it really does feel good to be back in the States and be surrounded by familiar places and faces. It has taken me a while to adjust but slowly, but surely I am starting to feel more comfortable. I have felt extremely content and at peace since my arrival, but I am still processing through all of the culture changes and I am still trying to figure out my weekly routine or how I feel about not having one at all.

On the other hand, "my" plans for the future are wide open, as I have said before we will see where God leads me. This is hard for some people to grasp, but I am content with waiting on the Lord and moving forward as He opens the doors and reveals my next steps. We will see what happens after the summer. For the summer, I am volunteering as a youth sponsor at my church and helping out in other areas as needed. I have loved observing the new changes in the church and seeing all of the growth that has and continues to take place. I am so excited to be able to support my church in any way I can. Central Church of Christ has been such a blessing to me and it feels great to be back for however long the Lord allows. I do still plan on looking for a job after the summer is over in order to begin paying off my student loans, but as for now I am also using this time during the summer to pray about what to do next and where to go long-term. You can join me in prayer on on those things (for guidance and direction). The Lord knows my heart is open and willing, but for now I am prayerfully and patiently waiting and serving where I am at.