As many of you know through my blog, I have had many struggles since my arrival in Costa Rica. My time here has not been a “walk in the park,” but I would not have it any other way. Through my trials and struggles, I have learned so much about God, life, fear, the importance of the mind and discipline, others, and myself. In these past 8 months I have matured a lot in my walk with the Lord, and it has been an incredible journey. He has had to break me down piece by piece in order to lift me up with His mighty hand. I am completely blown away by His love and grace.
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame,”- Romans 5:1-5a (NIV)
November 17, 2011
November 13, 2011
Oh where to begin...
Thank you Lord so much for this past week. Thank you for everything, the good, the ugly, the silly, the sadness, the great views and conversations, and the laughter. Thank you, Lord.
This past week was an exceptionally great week, glory be to God. I will be honest there were times this week when I just did not feel like I had the mental or emotional strength to get through and God continually lifted me up. Some of the repeating words in my head kept going back towards the truth found in these verses.
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:6-7
I do not hold God up. He holds me up with His righteous hand, and I am learning to fall and rest in His arms. Falling is something that I am quite good at but I know that there is always someone there to break my fall. I never truly hit rock bottom even though some times it feels like it. God is always there. Many times I feel like I am a child who is flailing about in the arms of their Father and all God wants me to do is relax and rest in Him. He wants me to stop trying to figure everything out and stop analyzing every little thing in life and just trust in Him and His will. I need to stop trying to be good enough and realize that He made me good and that His love and grace is enough.
Thank you Lord so much for this past week. Thank you for everything, the good, the ugly, the silly, the sadness, the great views and conversations, and the laughter. Thank you, Lord.
This past week was an exceptionally great week, glory be to God. I will be honest there were times this week when I just did not feel like I had the mental or emotional strength to get through and God continually lifted me up. Some of the repeating words in my head kept going back towards the truth found in these verses.
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:6-7
I do not hold God up. He holds me up with His righteous hand, and I am learning to fall and rest in His arms. Falling is something that I am quite good at but I know that there is always someone there to break my fall. I never truly hit rock bottom even though some times it feels like it. God is always there. Many times I feel like I am a child who is flailing about in the arms of their Father and all God wants me to do is relax and rest in Him. He wants me to stop trying to figure everything out and stop analyzing every little thing in life and just trust in Him and His will. I need to stop trying to be good enough and realize that He made me good and that His love and grace is enough.
November 08, 2011
Today was good...
Well, every day that the Lord has made is good. I wanted to share something that jumped out to me in my reading today...
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
-Romans 12:9-13
November 07, 2011
So last week was not my favorite, I know I wrote a previous post that slightly mentioned my feelings of not feeling good enough. This is something that I have been bringing before God and praying about this past week. Today all of those built-up emotions spilled out in a not so attractive way. I just needed to cry, pray, and dwell on God's word.
During my time of prayer, I reminded myself of God and His truth and promises. I laid out all of my questions before Him and then quickly realized that I was not in the position to be questioning God. What right does the creation have to question the Creator? (Romans 9:21). So then I talked with God about the "chiseling" process that has been taking place with my heart and mind, and how I feel that everything has been broken apart and I have nothing else to offer. We also talked about how uncomfortable it is to lay exposed in front of others and how exposed I feel even to myself, and how uncomfortable I feel right now. My mind quickly went to Jesus which helped put into perspective my feelings of being uncomfortable with being exposed mentally and emotionally, because not only was Jesus exposed in both of those ways but also physically. I can't even imagine what Jesus must have felt. I then tried to stay focused on who I am in Christ and on who God is. I know that even though I am nothing, I am everything in Christ. Apart from Him I can do no good thing. I have been created to do good works in Christ. It is by His grace that I have been saved through faith. Those were just a few of the things that came to mind.
You see with all of this chiseling going on within my heart and mind, I am starting to see more of who I am and I don't always like what I see. God is teaching me some of the basic principles of faith all over again but in a deeper way. I talked with Him about how I didn't enjoy this because we have been through most of these things before, but I can't shake this feeling that He is preparing me for something, I just don't know what it is yet. My response then was, "okay Lord, whatever it is you are doing, just do it. You know everything and everything that I have held onto is gone so here I am. If there is anything else in my heart that needs to be removed just go ahead and remove it. There needs to be less of me and more of you".
That was a glimpse into my conversation with God so let's look now at the victories of today. Even though, today could look like a pretty crappy day considering I was in a bad mood most of the day, it is ending on a good note so I am going to look at the victories of today.
Victories
During my time of prayer, I reminded myself of God and His truth and promises. I laid out all of my questions before Him and then quickly realized that I was not in the position to be questioning God. What right does the creation have to question the Creator? (Romans 9:21). So then I talked with God about the "chiseling" process that has been taking place with my heart and mind, and how I feel that everything has been broken apart and I have nothing else to offer. We also talked about how uncomfortable it is to lay exposed in front of others and how exposed I feel even to myself, and how uncomfortable I feel right now. My mind quickly went to Jesus which helped put into perspective my feelings of being uncomfortable with being exposed mentally and emotionally, because not only was Jesus exposed in both of those ways but also physically. I can't even imagine what Jesus must have felt. I then tried to stay focused on who I am in Christ and on who God is. I know that even though I am nothing, I am everything in Christ. Apart from Him I can do no good thing. I have been created to do good works in Christ. It is by His grace that I have been saved through faith. Those were just a few of the things that came to mind.
You see with all of this chiseling going on within my heart and mind, I am starting to see more of who I am and I don't always like what I see. God is teaching me some of the basic principles of faith all over again but in a deeper way. I talked with Him about how I didn't enjoy this because we have been through most of these things before, but I can't shake this feeling that He is preparing me for something, I just don't know what it is yet. My response then was, "okay Lord, whatever it is you are doing, just do it. You know everything and everything that I have held onto is gone so here I am. If there is anything else in my heart that needs to be removed just go ahead and remove it. There needs to be less of me and more of you".
That was a glimpse into my conversation with God so let's look now at the victories of today. Even though, today could look like a pretty crappy day considering I was in a bad mood most of the day, it is ending on a good note so I am going to look at the victories of today.
Victories
- First reaction when I realized something wasn't right was to turn to God in prayer.
- Recalled some Bible verses that I have been memorizing and studying.
- Didn't have a panic attack.
- Stayed in school all day and went to all of my classes.
- Talked with a sister-in-Christ about some of my feelings from the day and prayed.
- Went to the afternoon chapel session.
November 06, 2011
Not by works...
"For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion." It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all of the earth." - Romans 9:15-17
"What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, who he prepared in advance for glory - even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles?" - Romans 9:23-24
"What then shall we say? That the Gentiles, who did not purse righteousness, have obtained it, a righteousness this is by faith; but Israel, who pursued a law of righteousness has not attained it. Why not? Because they pursued it not by faith but as if it were by works. They stumbled over the "stumbling stone". - Romans 9:30-32
"So too , at the present time there is a remnant chosen by grace. And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace". - Romans 11:5-6
"know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law, because by the works of the law no one will be justified." - Galatians 2:16
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:8-10
"What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, who he prepared in advance for glory - even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles?" - Romans 9:23-24
"What then shall we say? That the Gentiles, who did not purse righteousness, have obtained it, a righteousness this is by faith; but Israel, who pursued a law of righteousness has not attained it. Why not? Because they pursued it not by faith but as if it were by works. They stumbled over the "stumbling stone". - Romans 9:30-32
"So too , at the present time there is a remnant chosen by grace. And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace". - Romans 11:5-6
"know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law, because by the works of the law no one will be justified." - Galatians 2:16
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:8-10
Reading Romans
I have been doing a lot of jumping around in my Bible lately and I think it is about time to start focusing my reading again on Romans. Last night before going to bed, I decided to start reading where I left off in Romans again only to find that the some of the verses that have been on my heart lately are all found in Romans 8. Go figure. Then this morning when I woke up and started checking my e-mail, I found this e-mail from a friend of mine who shares his weekly sermons online. Guess, where the verses are found for this week's sermon? You got it in Romans 8. Let me share with you what my friend, Eric Elder, wrote.
Last week, I talked about how God can work ALL things together for good for those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose. This week, I want share why God works all things for your good. It comes because, ultimately, God is FOR you. And if God is FOR you, who can be against you? That's the question the Apostle Paul asks at the end of Romans chapter 8:
Yet the truth is that God IS for you. He loves you deeply and cares about your life more than you could possibly imagine. He is as heartbroken about the things that break our hearts as we are, yet He has a perspective that is greater than ours. He can see the good in situations that we can hardly grasp while we're going through it.
Often it's only through hindsight that we can see what God saw in foresight. That job loss wasn't the worst thing that happened to our career after all, but actually helped us leapfrog forward. That bad report from the doctor turned out to deepen our faith rather than shatter it. And that email from a friend brought situations to light that never could have been dealt with had they stayed in the dark.
If only we could have the foresight that God has, we would be able to weather the storms that come at us much better. If we could see things as He sees them, our minds would be refreshed rather than distraught when seemingly bad news comes along. Today, I'd like to give you a lens through which you can look at everything that comes your way, and see it in foresight rather than waiting till it's long past to see it in hindsight.
The lens of life comes through looking at everything through the cross of Christ. Rather than be tossed to and fro by the storms of your life that come along, God has settled that matter once and for all when He sent Jesus to die for your sins. He didn't have to come along and rescue you, but He did. God didn't wait until you were cleaned up and doing good for Him to send Jesus to die, but, as Paul said in Romans 5:8:
My wife and I have felt this before. After giving birth to three healthy children, my wife had a miscarriage. It was a blow to us emotionally and personally. Then she had a second miscarriage. Then a third. Then a fourth. It was as if everything we were doing was falling apart. Yet we felt like we were giving our all for the cause of Christ more than ever before. It was natural to wonder what we were doing wrong.
Yet it was during a time of worship when my wife had a breakthrough. She was listening to a Don Moen worship CD about the healing power of Jesus when she finally surrendered to whatever God's will was for her in this area of her life.
She wasn't happy about the miscarriages, but she knew that all she could do was to trust Him completely. She had asked herself all the important questions, trying to find out if there was anything she was doing to contribute to these miscarriages, but finding nothing, there was no more she could do but to trust in God. She did, and God gave her the peace that passes understanding, that somehow, in some way, He would work all things for her good.
What happened next, we don't know, but she became pregnant again and this time she was able to carry the child to full term, giving birth to our fourth child. Then came a fifth, and eventually a sixth. Whether the turnaround in her heart and mind had anything to do with the turnaround in the situation, we still don't know. But what we do know is that when she came to the end of herself and put her faith in Christ again, she regained the peace that God was indeed FOR her. And regardless of what happened after that, she was going to be able to praise God.
I have felt the same in other areas of my life at times. When I'm praying to God for funding for a special project, or just for our daily needs as we minister to others, it sometimes feels like pulling teeth. Like I'm begging God to do something for me that I know He doesn't have to do, but that I wish He would do for our sake and the sake of those we're trying to reach through our ministry.
Then I think about what God has already done for me through Christ, and it's like I put on a whole new set of glasses and can finally see what God is wanting me to see. Rather than wondering what I'm doing wrong, I start to see things from God's perspective. I start to see that there's nothing that God would withhold from me, if He thought it was for my good. As Paul said:
But what about someone who's gone to war for you, and lost an arm or a leg for you, so you could be free? If someone gave up their arm for you, that's way more than ten million dollars. Now imagine if they gave up their life for you. What price could you put on that? And then, to take it a step further, they not only were willing to give their life for you, but their most cherished possession, their child, so that you could live? Now we're talking priceless to the n-th degree. And that's what God has done for us by sending Jesus to die for us. And we're worried that God doesn't love us because He doesn't give us ten bucks? Or ten thousand? Or ten million?
The truth is, there's nothing God wouldn't do for you. He loves you, and He is, overwhelmingly, FOR you. He wants to work all things for good in your life because He created you. He has a purpose for your life. And He wants to see you fulfill that purpose.
Don't ever think that because you don't get what you want, when you want it, that God doesn't love you. It's a lie. There may be other reasons involved, and their may be things that God wants you to change, or redirect, or pray differently about. But it's not because He doesn't love you. He's already proven that point beyond arguing. And when you look at what's going on in your present situation through the lens of what He's done for you in the past, you'll see it clearly too. You'll have the foresight that most people only get in hindsight. Your mind will be fixed on the good that God is doing and wants to do through you, rather than the bad that may seem to be engulfing you. This isn't just positive thinking. This is godly thinking. This is looking at life as God sees it—the God who created you and the whole universe that you inhabit.
Once you see that God is for you, you'll become convinced, like the Apostle Paul was, that there is nothing else in life that can separate you from His love. Nothing! As Paul said in the conclusion of chapter 8:
God loves you and would do anything for you. He's already demonstrated that. Now your role is to believe it and live it out in spite of whatever you might be facing today. Remember: God is FOR you!
Knowing That God Is For You
Lesson 20 from Romans: Lessons In Renewing Your Mind
Last week, I talked about how God can work ALL things together for good for those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose. This week, I want share why God works all things for your good. It comes because, ultimately, God is FOR you. And if God is FOR you, who can be against you? That's the question the Apostle Paul asks at the end of Romans chapter 8:
"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us” (Romans 8:31-34).
It's easy to wonder sometimes if God is really FOR you. You lose your job and it makes you wonder what happened. You get a horrible report from the doctor and you wonder what you did wrong. You open an email from a friend to discover some news you wish you had never read and you wonder how God could be working in this, too.Yet the truth is that God IS for you. He loves you deeply and cares about your life more than you could possibly imagine. He is as heartbroken about the things that break our hearts as we are, yet He has a perspective that is greater than ours. He can see the good in situations that we can hardly grasp while we're going through it.
Often it's only through hindsight that we can see what God saw in foresight. That job loss wasn't the worst thing that happened to our career after all, but actually helped us leapfrog forward. That bad report from the doctor turned out to deepen our faith rather than shatter it. And that email from a friend brought situations to light that never could have been dealt with had they stayed in the dark.
If only we could have the foresight that God has, we would be able to weather the storms that come at us much better. If we could see things as He sees them, our minds would be refreshed rather than distraught when seemingly bad news comes along. Today, I'd like to give you a lens through which you can look at everything that comes your way, and see it in foresight rather than waiting till it's long past to see it in hindsight.
The lens of life comes through looking at everything through the cross of Christ. Rather than be tossed to and fro by the storms of your life that come along, God has settled that matter once and for all when He sent Jesus to die for your sins. He didn't have to come along and rescue you, but He did. God didn't wait until you were cleaned up and doing good for Him to send Jesus to die, but, as Paul said in Romans 5:8:
"While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
If this question is settled, why then do we still wonder if God loves us when things go wrong in our lives? Why do we wonder why funds seem to have dried up, or job opportunities seem limited, or our health or relationships seem to be falling apart? It's a natural feeling, I know, but it's not the truth. If God loved you when you were still in the muck and mire of sin, why would he then abandon you when you're trying your hardest to follow Him?My wife and I have felt this before. After giving birth to three healthy children, my wife had a miscarriage. It was a blow to us emotionally and personally. Then she had a second miscarriage. Then a third. Then a fourth. It was as if everything we were doing was falling apart. Yet we felt like we were giving our all for the cause of Christ more than ever before. It was natural to wonder what we were doing wrong.
Yet it was during a time of worship when my wife had a breakthrough. She was listening to a Don Moen worship CD about the healing power of Jesus when she finally surrendered to whatever God's will was for her in this area of her life.
She wasn't happy about the miscarriages, but she knew that all she could do was to trust Him completely. She had asked herself all the important questions, trying to find out if there was anything she was doing to contribute to these miscarriages, but finding nothing, there was no more she could do but to trust in God. She did, and God gave her the peace that passes understanding, that somehow, in some way, He would work all things for her good.
What happened next, we don't know, but she became pregnant again and this time she was able to carry the child to full term, giving birth to our fourth child. Then came a fifth, and eventually a sixth. Whether the turnaround in her heart and mind had anything to do with the turnaround in the situation, we still don't know. But what we do know is that when she came to the end of herself and put her faith in Christ again, she regained the peace that God was indeed FOR her. And regardless of what happened after that, she was going to be able to praise God.
I have felt the same in other areas of my life at times. When I'm praying to God for funding for a special project, or just for our daily needs as we minister to others, it sometimes feels like pulling teeth. Like I'm begging God to do something for me that I know He doesn't have to do, but that I wish He would do for our sake and the sake of those we're trying to reach through our ministry.
Then I think about what God has already done for me through Christ, and it's like I put on a whole new set of glasses and can finally see what God is wanting me to see. Rather than wondering what I'm doing wrong, I start to see things from God's perspective. I start to see that there's nothing that God would withhold from me, if He thought it was for my good. As Paul said:
"If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:31-32).
I sometimes think I'm asking God for too much when I ask for money—whether it's ten dollars, or a hundred, or a thousand. But then I remember what He's already done for me. If someone were to give you ten dollars, or a hundred, or a thousand, they'd be giving up a lot for you. What if they gave you ten thousand, or ten million, then they'd really be paying a price. But what about someone who's gone to war for you, and lost an arm or a leg for you, so you could be free? If someone gave up their arm for you, that's way more than ten million dollars. Now imagine if they gave up their life for you. What price could you put on that? And then, to take it a step further, they not only were willing to give their life for you, but their most cherished possession, their child, so that you could live? Now we're talking priceless to the n-th degree. And that's what God has done for us by sending Jesus to die for us. And we're worried that God doesn't love us because He doesn't give us ten bucks? Or ten thousand? Or ten million?
The truth is, there's nothing God wouldn't do for you. He loves you, and He is, overwhelmingly, FOR you. He wants to work all things for good in your life because He created you. He has a purpose for your life. And He wants to see you fulfill that purpose.
Don't ever think that because you don't get what you want, when you want it, that God doesn't love you. It's a lie. There may be other reasons involved, and their may be things that God wants you to change, or redirect, or pray differently about. But it's not because He doesn't love you. He's already proven that point beyond arguing. And when you look at what's going on in your present situation through the lens of what He's done for you in the past, you'll see it clearly too. You'll have the foresight that most people only get in hindsight. Your mind will be fixed on the good that God is doing and wants to do through you, rather than the bad that may seem to be engulfing you. This isn't just positive thinking. This is godly thinking. This is looking at life as God sees it—the God who created you and the whole universe that you inhabit.
Once you see that God is for you, you'll become convinced, like the Apostle Paul was, that there is nothing else in life that can separate you from His love. Nothing! As Paul said in the conclusion of chapter 8:
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? … No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:37-39).
What can separate you from the love of God? It's the same answer to today's riddle: Nothing!God loves you and would do anything for you. He's already demonstrated that. Now your role is to believe it and live it out in spite of whatever you might be facing today. Remember: God is FOR you!
November 03, 2011
Walking Home...
Everything is going to be okay, but that is not because you are an optimist or because of anything you do. Everything is going to be okay because I am in control. I am God.
Those are the words that came into my head tonight as I walked home from an incredible day. As I walked I took a deep breath, more like a sigh of relief, and began thanking God for all of His many blessings. I have been stressed this week and today I have been having this feeling of just not being good enough. As I prayed God reminded me of who He is. I have been more than blessed, and that is not because I am good enough, smart enough, or liked enough. I have been blessed not because of anything that I have done or deserved. God out of His goodness, grace, and faithfulness, out of who He is has given me more than enough. He always has and He always will.
Those are the words that came into my head tonight as I walked home from an incredible day. As I walked I took a deep breath, more like a sigh of relief, and began thanking God for all of His many blessings. I have been stressed this week and today I have been having this feeling of just not being good enough. As I prayed God reminded me of who He is. I have been more than blessed, and that is not because I am good enough, smart enough, or liked enough. I have been blessed not because of anything that I have done or deserved. God out of His goodness, grace, and faithfulness, out of who He is has given me more than enough. He always has and He always will.
The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we also are His children.'
Acts 17:24-28
For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:25-33
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