Lord, there are many things in life that I do not understand, but I know in your perfect timing you reveal to me what I need to know. You give me grace and understanding in my time of need. In those times of uncertainty and anxiousness, please help me to find comfort and peace in You. For I know that nothing is hidden from you. I am not hidden from you. I often feel unworthy of your love and rightly so for I know I am a sinner. It is only by your grace that I stand and through your Son that I live.
Lord, please forgive me for not always appreciating the life that you have given me and for not appreciating the sacrifices you have made. I can't imagine what this must be like for you, to see your daughter so broken and knowing that you have given your only Son for her. Thank you for loving me and for constantly pursuing me even when my heart becomes like stone.
I know that you won't give up on me but still Lord I pray that no matter what please continue to transform this heart of stone. Please remember me. You know how stubborn I can be and you know my rebellious ways. Open my ears and my heart so that I may listen to advice and accept discipline. I long to grow in wisdom and understanding. Lord, I long to be closer to you.
Search me Lord and continue bringing to the surface anything that is not of you so that my heart may be completely yours. Mold me and transform me. Protect me Lord from the lies that often fill my mind. May I take captive every thought and bring them before you. Even now Lord as I try to push forward through this difficult time words that should be encouraging often get turned around in my mind and become disheartening. Help me to see the truth and the love in those words. God I want to mature in you, please continue to train me to distinguish good from evil.
Lord, I put my trust in you. You alone are good.
October 10, 2011
October 09, 2011
Romans 8:26-30
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
October 07, 2011
El fin de semana...
My grammar test went well today, but I will find out my grade on Tuesday. By the time grammar class was over today my head was getting ready to explode. We are getting into some complicated grammar rules so after class today my brain needed a rest so after school I came home and took a nap. I kind of love days like these.
Once I woke up from my nap, I read for a little bit while listening to worship music and drinking coffee. My friend, Liz, introduced me to a worship band called Enter the Worship Circle and now I have been listening to them non-stop. Last night at her house, a group of women from school got together to chat and we made homemade pretzels, cheese dip, and an organic bath scrub. I also discovered why people drink decaf coffee, because then you can drink coffee at night (what a fabulous idea!). I am now a fan of decaf coffee. Tonight, I got together with some friends and went to dinner and a movie. It was fun and a good way to end the week.
Tomorrow, I will be heading to Valle del Sol to work with the kiddos. I am excited to see their faces, it has been almost two weeks since I have seen them last. Last Saturday, there was a picnic at school that I helped organize so I couldn't go. Although, I heard that the kids had a party and of course they loved it. Special thanks to Jon for the coloring books, we have been using them for the Bible lessons.
Also, I wanted to let all of you know that I am praying about the possibility of staying at Language School for another trimester. It has been such a blessing to be able to be here and I would love to stay another trimester if it is God's will. If you could join me in praying over this I would greatly appreciate it. I am always grateful for all of your prayers, thank you to everyone who has partnered with me both prayerfully and financially."I thank my God every time I remember you" (Phil. 1:3)
*Just as a side note, I have also added a Donate tab on the right if you would like to partner with me financially and support me in my future language learning/ministry training.
Within the past two weeks/month, there has been a few different long-term ministry opportunities that have been brought to my attention (one I purposely searched for and three others have presented themselves to me). Please be praying for me as I consider all of these options and continue to seek God's guidance and will.
Once I woke up from my nap, I read for a little bit while listening to worship music and drinking coffee. My friend, Liz, introduced me to a worship band called Enter the Worship Circle and now I have been listening to them non-stop. Last night at her house, a group of women from school got together to chat and we made homemade pretzels, cheese dip, and an organic bath scrub. I also discovered why people drink decaf coffee, because then you can drink coffee at night (what a fabulous idea!). I am now a fan of decaf coffee. Tonight, I got together with some friends and went to dinner and a movie. It was fun and a good way to end the week.
Tomorrow, I will be heading to Valle del Sol to work with the kiddos. I am excited to see their faces, it has been almost two weeks since I have seen them last. Last Saturday, there was a picnic at school that I helped organize so I couldn't go. Although, I heard that the kids had a party and of course they loved it. Special thanks to Jon for the coloring books, we have been using them for the Bible lessons.
Also, I wanted to let all of you know that I am praying about the possibility of staying at Language School for another trimester. It has been such a blessing to be able to be here and I would love to stay another trimester if it is God's will. If you could join me in praying over this I would greatly appreciate it. I am always grateful for all of your prayers, thank you to everyone who has partnered with me both prayerfully and financially."I thank my God every time I remember you" (Phil. 1:3)
*Just as a side note, I have also added a Donate tab on the right if you would like to partner with me financially and support me in my future language learning/ministry training.
Within the past two weeks/month, there has been a few different long-term ministry opportunities that have been brought to my attention (one I purposely searched for and three others have presented themselves to me). Please be praying for me as I consider all of these options and continue to seek God's guidance and will.
October 06, 2011
I am not a morning person...
Anyone who knows me really well knows that I am not a morning person. I am the kind of person who can't really have a conversation until after I have been up for at least an hour. Even then any loud noises before 9am feel like they are 10 times louder then what they really are. With that said, what am I doing waking up at 5:30 in the morning? My alarm is always set for 6:15am or 6:30am.
I am not quite sure why my body has all of a sudden decided that it is going to start waking up at 5:30am, but I can tell you this...that half an hour to an hour in bed each morning has been wonderful. The first morning I was like, "You have got to be kidding me" then I proceeded to toss and turn for the next 45 minutes and praying about whatever/whoever came to mind. The next morning when I woke up early again I complained at first and struggled to go back to sleep then I proceeded to pray about whatever/whoever came to mind. This has been going on for a few days. Each morning that I have woken up early my complaining and struggling to go back to sleep has gone down more and more. I am not sure if this is something that I am suppose to be getting into the habit of doing, waking up early in the morning and praying before I get out of bed, but hey it is not a bad habit to get into. If God is trying to teach me something through this I can definitely see a theme, do less complaining and struggling and more praying.
Tomorrow I have another Grammar test. This tri-mester has been flying by I can't believe it is already October.
I am not quite sure why my body has all of a sudden decided that it is going to start waking up at 5:30am, but I can tell you this...that half an hour to an hour in bed each morning has been wonderful. The first morning I was like, "You have got to be kidding me" then I proceeded to toss and turn for the next 45 minutes and praying about whatever/whoever came to mind. The next morning when I woke up early again I complained at first and struggled to go back to sleep then I proceeded to pray about whatever/whoever came to mind. This has been going on for a few days. Each morning that I have woken up early my complaining and struggling to go back to sleep has gone down more and more. I am not sure if this is something that I am suppose to be getting into the habit of doing, waking up early in the morning and praying before I get out of bed, but hey it is not a bad habit to get into. If God is trying to teach me something through this I can definitely see a theme, do less complaining and struggling and more praying.
Tomorrow I have another Grammar test. This tri-mester has been flying by I can't believe it is already October.
October 05, 2011
Thoughts...
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
"For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us." 1 Corinthians 2:11-12
What do these verses mean in my life right now? Well, I have been thinking a lot lately about the future, how I love and serve others, my habits, the ways that I express emotions, and I have been thinking about what it means to be obedient. I have also been thinking about my thoughts. I have been analyzing my thoughts and trying to take captive every thought and make them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).
I was brought back to Isaiah 55 and I spent some time thinking about how my thoughts are not His thoughts and my ways are not His ways. My thoughts if left unattended and not dwelling on God's Truth often lead to worry and anxiety. Those thoughts are definitely not God's so I have been praying for God to direct my steps and make His ways my ways and His thoughts my thoughts. I know I have been given the Spirit of God so I pray for the Spirit to work in me and through me. I also pray that the Spirit would continue to mold me into the woman that He has made me to be and fill me with understanding and wisdom that only comes from the Lord.
"For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us." 1 Corinthians 2:11-12
What do these verses mean in my life right now? Well, I have been thinking a lot lately about the future, how I love and serve others, my habits, the ways that I express emotions, and I have been thinking about what it means to be obedient. I have also been thinking about my thoughts. I have been analyzing my thoughts and trying to take captive every thought and make them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).
I was brought back to Isaiah 55 and I spent some time thinking about how my thoughts are not His thoughts and my ways are not His ways. My thoughts if left unattended and not dwelling on God's Truth often lead to worry and anxiety. Those thoughts are definitely not God's so I have been praying for God to direct my steps and make His ways my ways and His thoughts my thoughts. I know I have been given the Spirit of God so I pray for the Spirit to work in me and through me. I also pray that the Spirit would continue to mold me into the woman that He has made me to be and fill me with understanding and wisdom that only comes from the Lord.
October 04, 2011
Habits...
Over the past couple of years, I have realized that there are some habits that need to change in my way of thinking. For example, how I deal with emotions. I have never been very good about expressing emotions and instead of really talking about them I have always found ways to hide them. I have a habit of hiding my internal emotions behind my external issues or struggles. As I have grown older I have become better at hiding my internal emotions and even my external struggles, because as an adult and a believer you surely can't show your weaknesses to others. You are suppose to have it all together. Those are lies. You should share your emotions/weaknesses with someone else and you don't have to have everything put together, but I didn't believe that before or take that to heart. I thought okay whatever I am struggling with is my problem and I have to figure out a way to deal with it before someone sees that something is wrong.
"Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." - Galatians 6:2
I had this idea that whatever is making me struggle emotionally is in some way my fault...I must have did something wrong. Sometimes there is a sin that I need to confess and repent of and other times I just need to forgive. I had this idea before that I had to do this all on my own it wasn't until about 2 years ago that I started learning about what it really means to confess, repent, and forgive.
"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." - Mark 11:25
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." - James 5:16
This transformation and renewing of my mind is still taking place as I continue to come before God with this realization that I am nothing without Him and everything in Him. It is through Him that I am made new, a child of the most High, and free.
"Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—" - John 1:12
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." - Romans 12:2
"Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." - Galatians 6:2
I had this idea that whatever is making me struggle emotionally is in some way my fault...I must have did something wrong. Sometimes there is a sin that I need to confess and repent of and other times I just need to forgive. I had this idea before that I had to do this all on my own it wasn't until about 2 years ago that I started learning about what it really means to confess, repent, and forgive.
"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." - Mark 11:25
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." - James 5:16
This transformation and renewing of my mind is still taking place as I continue to come before God with this realization that I am nothing without Him and everything in Him. It is through Him that I am made new, a child of the most High, and free.
"Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—" - John 1:12
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." - Romans 12:2
October 03, 2011
Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.
Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.
- Romans 8:5-13
- Romans 8:5-13
To often in life do I think that my obligation is to something of the flesh, but in all actuality my only obligation is to God. It is far too easy to get focused on what the flesh desires (approval, comfort, security, etc.) instead of what the Spirit desires. One thing leads to death and the other leads to life. I have to remember daily that my obligation is not to my flesh, because I have been bought with a price and have been given the Spirit of Christ. However, at times it is easy for me to let my flesh control me, but the only thing that should control me is the Spirit. I am not a slave to me or anyone else, but I am slave to God, whose Spirit lives within me. Thank you Lord for your Spirit and your grace.
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