I am not a morning person...

Anyone who knows me really well knows that I am not a morning person. I am the kind of person who can't really have a conversation until after I have been up for at least an hour. Even then any loud noises before 9am feel like they are 10 times louder then what they really are. With that said, what am I doing waking up at 5:30 in the morning? My alarm is always set for 6:15am or 6:30am.

I am not quite sure why my body has all of a sudden decided that it is going to start waking up at 5:30am, but I can tell you this...that half an hour to an hour in bed each morning has been wonderful. The first morning I was like, "You have got to be kidding me" then I proceeded to toss and turn for the next 45 minutes and praying about whatever/whoever came to mind. The next morning when I woke up early again I complained at first and struggled to go back to sleep then I proceeded to pray about whatever/whoever came to mind. This has been going on for a few days. Each morning that I have woken up early my complaining and struggling to go back to sleep has gone down more and more. I am not sure if this is something that I am suppose to be getting into the habit of doing, waking up early in the morning and praying before I get out of bed, but hey it is not a bad habit to get into. If God is trying to teach me something through this I can definitely see a theme, do less complaining and struggling and more praying.

Tomorrow I have another Grammar test. This tri-mester has been flying by I can't believe it is already October.

Thoughts...

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

"For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us." 1 Corinthians 2:11-12

What do these verses mean in my life right now? Well, I have been thinking a lot lately about the future, how I love and serve others, my habits, the ways that I express emotions, and I have been thinking about what it means to be obedient. I have also been thinking about my thoughts. I have been analyzing my thoughts and trying to take captive every thought and make them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

I was brought back to Isaiah 55 and I spent some time thinking about how my thoughts are not His thoughts and my ways are not His ways. My thoughts if left unattended and not dwelling on God's Truth often lead to worry and anxiety. Those thoughts are definitely not God's so I have been praying for God to direct my steps and make His ways my ways and His thoughts my thoughts. I know I have been given the Spirit of God so I pray for the Spirit to work in me and through me. I also pray that the Spirit would continue to mold me into the woman that He has made me to be and fill me with understanding and wisdom that only comes from the Lord.

Habits...

Over the past couple of years, I have realized that there are some habits that need to change in my way of thinking. For example, how I deal with emotions. I have never been very good about expressing emotions and instead of really talking about them I have always found ways to hide them. I have a habit of hiding my internal emotions behind my external issues or struggles. As I have grown older I have become better at hiding my internal emotions and even my external struggles, because as an adult and a believer you surely can't show your weaknesses to others. You are suppose to have it all together. Those are lies. You should share your emotions/weaknesses with someone else and you don't have to have everything put together, but I didn't believe that before or take that to heart. I thought okay whatever I am struggling with is my problem and I have to figure out a way to deal with it before someone sees that something is wrong.

"Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." - Galatians 6:2 

I had this idea that whatever is making me struggle emotionally is in some way my fault...I must have did something wrong. Sometimes there is a sin that I need to confess and repent of and other times I just need to forgive. I had this idea before that I had to do this all on my own it wasn't until about 2 years ago that I started learning about what it really means to confess, repent, and forgive.

"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." - Mark 11:25

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." - James 5:16

This transformation and renewing of my mind is still taking place as I continue to come before God with this realization that I am nothing without Him and everything in Him. It is through Him that I am made new, a child of the most High, and free.

"Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—" - John 1:12

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." - Romans 12:2

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. 

   You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.

Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.
- Romans 8:5-13

To often in life do  I think that my obligation is to something of the flesh, but in all actuality my only obligation is to God. It is far too easy to get focused on what the flesh desires (approval, comfort, security, etc.) instead of what the Spirit desires. One thing leads to death and the other leads to life. I have to remember daily that my obligation is not to my flesh, because I have been bought with a price and have been given the Spirit of Christ. However, at times it is easy for me to let my flesh control me, but the only thing that should control me is the Spirit. I am not a slave to me or anyone else, but I am slave to God, whose Spirit lives within me. Thank you Lord for your Spirit and your grace.

The transition...

Jeremiah 23:23-24 

"“Am I only a God nearby,”
            declares the LORD,
   “and not a God far away?
Who can hide in secret places
   so that I cannot see them?”
            declares the LORD.
   “Do not I fill heaven and earth?”
            declares the LORD."

 

"Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" Sung by Hillsong

Songs that take us back...

Most people have a song that when they hear it they are automatically taken back to a specific time in their life. For married couples it might be the song at their wedding. For some people it might be a song from a school dance. There a few country songs that every time I hear them I am automatically taken back to my high school dances. Some songs might remind us of certain people. The song Amazing Grace still brings me to tears every time I sing it, because that was the last song I ever sang to my Aunt Joey.

If I had to pick a song for my time here in Costa Rica this would be the one. I first heard this song in Spanish while at Zumba class. I had been having a rough week and the moment I heard this song I just wanted to cry, and ever since then God has used this song to speak to my heart and take me back to His truth. 

 

"None but Jesus," sung by Brooke Fraser

Prayer..

Today was a little off for me. The day did not start off very good and since this morning I have been having some things weighing on my heart. I was going to approach a male student about an inappropriate conversation but I am going to have a man do it since it would be more appropriate. Please pray for a male student who is currently struggling with some moral purity issues. If you could also pray for my attitude towards this man that would be greatly appreciated. I have to admit that my attitude towards him lately has not been very nice or godly. I have to keep in mind that He is a brother in Christ. Please join me in lifting him (and my attitude towards him) up in prayer.