From Spain to Costa Rica...

Today was definitely more of a Monday kind of day, I was kind of out of it all day and I was just off in my own little world. I was thinking about life a lot today and focusing on God and His control over all things. God just always amazes me. I just thought about life and how everything has always worked out and how God has continually provided me with everything that I have ever needed. I was focusing on this because I have come to that point once again, where I have done everything that I can do and now I am just waiting and seeing what God has in-store. My future is uncertain, but I know one thing to be true I will continue to serve the Lord with all my heart and I will continue to serve and love others.

Two years ago, coming to Costa Rica was just a dream, but about a year ago God turned that dream into a reality. I remember when I came back from Spain in the summer of 2009, my heart was broken. You see on that trip I lived with a woman named Elizabeth. From the outside, you could see that she was this sweet godly women who served the Lord and her family with everything she had. She also gave everything she had to others and opened her home to missionaries. However, on the inside she was broken and overwhelmed with sadness.

I will never forget the day that I was sitting in church and she got up and gave her testimony. I had been living with her for over a week and I had grown really attached to her and her family. I was sitting in the pew trying to understand what she was saying and I just couldn't (that was so frustrating). Then I saw her break down into tears and I just started crying, because I could see her pain in her eyes even though I couldn't understand what she was saying. After church, my trip leader Stephanie told me that Elizabeth announced that she had been diagnosed with cancer. All I could do was hug Elizabeth and mourn with her (there are somethings that don't require any words).

I remember shortly after that day, one night as my friend and I were getting ready for bed Elizabeth came in and told us she was going to the doctor tomorrow and tears started to roll down her face. As she was getting ready to leave the room the Lord placed it on my heart to pray with her. That moment sitting in that tiny room praying was one of the most humbling and powerful moments of my life. My friend and I both prayed in English and Elizabeth prayed in Spanish, neither one of us could understand what the other was saying, but in our hearts we knew what was happening. Our relationships and love for God transcended all of the cultural and language boundaries, just like our prayers to God.

It was after that moment that God placed a strong desire on my heart to learn Spanish. I knew how much I loved Elizabeth without speaking any Spanish and God worked in our relationship in such amazing ways, that I couldn't imagine what God could do in our relationship if we both spoke the same language.

After returning from Spain, learning Spanish seemed less like a goal and more like a dream. If I were honest, I never thought it would actually happen. Now here I am in Costa Rica typing this blog. Isn't our God amazing? There is no one like Him. He took a dream and made it a reality. A dream to learn Spanish, minister to Spanish speaking people, and build cross-cultural relationships. That dream is now a reality, thanks be to God. I am not learning Spanish for myself, but in order to glorify God and share His truth and love with Spanish speaking families and children. God is so good and I can't wait to see what He has in-store for the future.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."- Romans 8:28

Perfect Timing

Today, I cried twice both were tears of joy. First I received a package from my best friend Emily. Then later on in the day I was able to Skype with my Grandpa Duke and Grandma Lucy, this was the first time I have been able to talk to them since I arrived in Costa Rica. Thank you so much Em, grandma and grandpa, and mom for making my day extra special! I love you all.

Thanks to Em, I am now starting a new book called Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. This book is about change and learning to accept both the sweet times and the bitter times. It is also about God's grace and control throughout every season in life. This book couldn't have arrived at a better time. I am only on page 28 and already I like it.

"When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow." -pg 13

Giving thanks in all circumstances is something that I am learning how to do. Giving thanks when things are going good is easy to do, but giving thanks when things get tough now that becomes a little more difficult. It is in those difficult times where our response has to change from our natural human response to God's supernatural response.

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

This past week has been very good. It is not a secret that my last month and a half here has been rough emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. However, God has brought some really exceptional people into my life who have been speaking God's truth into my life and have been helping me through some personal issues. I have also been diving more into God's Word, studying about relationships, and learning what it means to be thankful. God is good.

I am at this point now where the fog that was covering my eyes for many years is now gone and I am starting to see things with a clearer perspective. Having your heart and mind transformed by God is not an easy process, it can even be a painful process, but it is also a beautiful process.  God's grace is truly amazing, and the peace that we have in Him is so incredibly wonderful.

 "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."-Romans 5:1-11

Love Saturdays

Woke up this morning not feeling very good, but I slept it off then went to work with the kiddos. I love getting to see those kids every week. This week Karla read about Daniel and the Lion's Den and then we colored a sheet going along with the theme. Also, the number of children grew this week, we had a few new kids, which is always really exciting to see.

Before we started, everyone was waiting around for an hour because the house was locked (this happens every week) so the kids and I got to play some games. I tried to practice my Spanish and I definitely practiced listening. Brandon, is like the leader of the kids, he cracks me up. He explained two new games to me and of course I lost every time. I also practiced the song Father Abraham in English with them and then we tried it in Spanish. Then it was time for the lesson and coloring.

Besides, watching the children pray and hearing them laugh my third favorite thing is watching them color. All of the children love coloring, but most of them do not have crayons or coloring books in their homes. There is one little boy in particular who really loves to color, I love seeing his finished pictures each week. I really enjoy watching him color, he gets so serious when he is trying to make the picture perfect and then if he messes up he just gets ridiculous and laughs and colors the picture with a bunch of crazy colors. It is so much fun to watch.

Relationships matter

Your relationship with God matters, your relationship with your family matters, your relationship with your co-workers matter, your relationship with others matters...relationships matter! This is something that I am starting to see more and more. As I have begun to open up to people God has showed me how important relationships really are. We are meant to be in relationships. We are relational beings. We are met to have a relationship with God, but also with other people. God is still taking me through what this really means, but that is what I have been thinking about these past two weeks. I have been diving into God's word and seeking God's truth on this topic of relationships so we will see where He leads me as He reveals to me the significance of relationships in my life. 

I know this doesn't seem like new information and I have heard that we are relational beings before, but there is something deeper there. Relationships affect so many parts of our lives and who we are. If we are in a relationship with God then that relationship should affect the rest of our relationships. There comes a break though somewhere for me, and for most people, where a broken or betrayed relationship(s) can have a negative effect that is so strong that it affects all of our other relationships, even our relationship with God. This is where things go wrong when we allow our broken or betrayed relationships with others to affect our relationship with God instead of it being the other way around (Our relationship with God affecting our broken or betrayed relationships). Broken relationships, in any form, can cause pain, but also if allowed to do so can cause this unnecessary fear of people, which can hinder all of our relationships.

This is just a short glimpse into some of things that I have been thinking about lately so we will see where God takes me on this journey and study of relationships and fear.

Long but Great Day

Just finished having an hour conversation with my host mom about el machismo and las apariencias en Costa Rica. My head is now filled for the day and can not take in any more Spanish. Today in class we learned past tense (perfecto) for the first time. That was fun, I have been looking forward to conjugating verbs again. My friend, Mark and I had a good time laughing at ourselves in class because we both knew we sounded ridiculous. I had to pause in the middle of conjugating one verb because I started having a laughing fit and couldn't stop. Our teacher, Alejandra, has a great sense of humor so she joined in with the fun.

There is so many good things that God has been putting in my heart and teaching me that I want to share, but I am going to leave those for another day when I am more awake. Today has been a great day, but like I said in the title it has also been long. It is only 7:17pm and I feel like I could go to bed right now, but I will be sure to update you all soon on what God is teaching me. God is good.  Time to review for my grammar test tomorrow and go to bed.

This is what the LORD says:
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
   who draws strength from mere flesh
   and whose heart turns away from the LORD.
That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
   they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
   in a salt land where no one lives.
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,
   whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
   that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
   its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
   and never fails to bear fruit.”  -Jeremiah 17:5-8

Reflection from my Day...

         God is so good. Today, I had a wonderful conversation with a friend. We were getting to know one another and both of us opened up about the struggles in our lives. We said during the conversation multiple times: I am not alone, you are not alone, or I understand. It is strange how often we think in life that we are alone. This is a common lie that Satan tells many people, “no one will understand, everyone is going to judge you if you share that, everyone is going to reject you, don’t open up to people they will only hurt you…“ the list of lies could go on and on. Satan is the Father of lies and deceitfulness.

            I have believed many of those lies for far too long. I have held on to many things that I thought were only my struggles. I have had this sense of I can handle this. I will just keep this between God and me, but then I end up hiding those struggles and hurts deep inside. There is a big difference between saying I am giving it all over to Him and actually doing it. There is a difference between saying I trust in the Lord and actually doing it. Just saying those things doesn’t change anything, however doing those things results in a transformation of my heart, soul, and mind. This transformation doesn’t happen over night. Taking every thought captive, making my mind and body obedient to Christ, and trusting in the Lord’s promises and Word. Trusting that He is sovereign and the Lord over all things. Those are not easy things to understand or do, this is why I am continually filling my mind with truth through God’s word, bringing all of my prayers before the Lord, and beginning to share with others my struggles and joys.

            Sharing today with someone and seeing someone who has struggled with some of the same things as me and has gone through some of the same things that I have gone through is comforting. The Lord uses His people to help comfort others. God used my friend today to comfort me. Seeing her open up and knowing that she has the same fear about opening up to others in a way comforted me because I know exactly what that feels like. I have felt that fear for a long time. We are going through many of the same struggles and I believe the Lord has brought us together to help one another. God is amazing. God used many of the things that He has been speaking into my life to speak into her life. That made me cry, because God used something that I have and do struggle with to help and encourage someone else. Today I saw the work that God is doing in my life as I spoke His words of truth that He has spoken into my life recently and as I shared His words with my friend. She also spoke words of truth into my life and encouraged me through what God has taught her through her struggles. Sharing God’s victories in our lives and His love for us with one another was amazing. We have an amazing God.