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My testimony, this is the story of how God has worked in my life and how God is faithful.

Before I was born, my parents were separated and after I was born they tried to make it work, but still it ended in divorce. My mother remarried when I was 2 years old to a wonderful man named Mike (who I refer to as my dad). I have grown up in a Christian home with my mom and dad and my little brother, Trey. My mom and dad always went to church and made sure that my brother and I went as well. I first learned about God by watching my mother's life and also through a nice old lady named Blanche, she took me under her wing at church and helped me memorize some of my first bible verses.

I went to church every year growing up, but I didn't really understand why everyone, Christians, did some of the things they did. I praise God that my parents allowed me try to discover God on my own while at the same time being godly examples. My parents not only talked about their faith but more importantly they lived it out.

Like most children, I rebelled against my parents teachings and God. For a short while in Junior High I struggled believing in God. I couldn't understand why God would prohibit me from doing some of the things that I wanted to do. I didn't understand why my parents wouldn't let me do what I wanted to do or why they always seemed more protective or strict than the other parents. I did not like having a curfew or checking in with them and constantly letting them know where I was at. Later on in life, this becomes one of the things that I love the most about my parents, because now I understand that it was out of their love for me that they disciplined me and tried to protect me.

My parents noticed my rebelling behavior and started making me go to church with them. I groaned for a while about going to church, because we had just switched to a new church and I was just not happy about being at church. I didn't give God a chance because I stubborn and wanted to live life my way.

One day at church my cousin asked my if I would go to youth group with her. I had refused to go before when other people had asked me to go, but since it was her I decided to go. Well, she never showed up that night at youth group and I was stuck in a room with a bunch of people I didn't know. I thought they were weird honestly because the moment I walked in the door kids started greeting me, they had no idea who I was, but they made me feel welcomed. I made friends that night who would become my best friends throughout my childhood and teenage years, and some of them would stay for the rest of my life.

It was in that youth group that I learned about who God is, in a way that I could understand. I was introduced to teenagers that had something about them that I could not explain, they had God. I realized that this was the God my parents knew about too and I desired to know more about Him.

Well, it is over 11 years later and I still desire to know more about God. God has blessed me so much throughout my life. He didn't let me stay in my rebellion, but instead He persued me. He used my parents and new friends to help me know Him. I believe He knew how rebellious my heart really was and to save me from pain, He helped me learn about Him early on in life. This doesn't mean that I haven't made mistakes or rebelled since then, but I am constantly striving to know God and out of His love He never lets me stay in my rebellion for long. I always go back towards the truth and as I have matured in my faith that is the only place that I want to be, in His love and in His truth.

Once you had found something so good and so right, it is hard not to share that with others. God has transformed my life and I know He desires the same for others. This is why I share my testimony with you and why I became a missionary. I amazed by God's love for me and for others.

Talking with God....

Today was good. I was able to go to a new church with my friend, Elaine. (I am looking for a church to attend after my friend Kelly leaves so I am starting to check out different churches in the area. I do like the church I attend now but I want to see what else is out there. I never ventured out explored the other churches because I didn't feel comfortable doing it, but now I do.) After church, Elaine and I went out to lunch and then traveled to meet up with a team from her home church in the states.

While talking and waiting for a cab, she reminded me of something that I would like to share today. It has been over a year since I have wrote about prayer so I would like to explore this topic with you again.

Prayer is something that should be apart of our daily lives. It should be almost like breathing. In Scripture, we are told to pray continually and in the Spirit. In Ephesians 6:18, Paul tells the church to pray on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests, and to pray for all the saints (God's people).


I believe God wants us to share with Him everything that is in our hearts, even our complaints. God knows everything that is in our minds anyways so why not just share everything with Him in prayer? I pray in private like God is sitting right next to me. I even pray out loud like I am having a conversation with God, if someone were to see or hear this they might think I am crazy. When I am not in the privacy of my room, I talk to God in my head or sometimes out loud as long as no one else can hear me. I like to say I have conversations with God because it helps me to see prayer as a two way street, this involves not only talking but also waiting for a response. Sometimes we can get so caught up in talking to God that we forget to or don't stop talking long enough to hear His response.

I share with God everything that is on my heart, but then I also listen, look, and wait for His response. They don't always come right away and sometimes I don't feel or see a response at all, but it is okay. God is in control and I know He is good. His response may not always be what you want but you have to trust in Him.

One of my favorite examples of prayer comes from the book "God is Closer than You Think" by John Ortberg. In this book, the author talks about a man named Brother Lawrence and how even though his job to wash dishes he would wash those dishes and talk with God. Brother Lawrence took an every day task and instead made it about God.

There are all different kinds of ways to pray but I think the most important thing to do is just pray. God wants you to share what is on your heart, even though He already knows. Isn't always better to hear what is going on in your friends' life directly from them instead of someone else? This is kind of how I feel when it comes to praying to God. He wants to talk with me, but He wants me to want to talk to Him. He doesn't force me to say anything to Him, but because I love Him I want to share everything with Him (the good and the bad, my ups and my downs).

I could go on forever about prayer but the point is to remember to just pray, talk with God. Talk about even the silly little things that you don't think matter, because it does matter to God. Then listen for His response to your prayers or requests. This is about having a deep personal relationship with God. You don't develop deep relationships by not talking or listening. You need to be willing to share with God what was on your heart and mind and listen for His response.

Valle del Sol

I got to go work with the kids today in Valle del Sol. It was wonderful. I love seeing those smiling faces and even the unhappy ones.

It was raining really hard this afternoon and last week we did not get together, because a nearby church organized a day camp so we wanted the children to go with them. This week we started back up again but not with very many children, most people won't go out when it is raining hard. Although, there wasn't as many kids there today we still had fun. I liked having a smaller number today because it gave me the chance to practice remembering some of their names.


To begin our day, I led the worship songs with the children, which has become one of my unexpected roles in the ministry. I am still uncomfortable with it but it helps when I know what the words are and what they mean.

Afterwards, the younger children and I went into another room and had a Bible lesson, played games, and colored. One of the little boys, Kennedy, showed up with some cuts on his lips and the teacher informed that he gets abused at home. It hurts me to think that someone could hurt a child. I have been around abused children and people all my life, but the pain and aching in my heart and stomach is still there whenever I find out. I can't even imagine how God must feel when He watches His children suffer. I always think of God saying, "whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me".

Please pray for Kenedy and his younger brother today. Also pray for all the children in Valle del Sol.

I truly believe that if Jesus where to walk the streets of San José you would find Him in Valle del Sol. There are so many people there that need His love and truth.

Coffee

My blog will not be long right now because I am getting ready to head out the door. Today has been a wonderful Friday. It has been full of laughter, games, jokes, and some good fellowship. I will write more tomorrow evening but right now I am heading out the door to go to a Costa Rican jazz cafe. I am really excited to hear great music and hang out with some new friends. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Surrendering and Knowing God...

Is this true for you? "I want to know Christ the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death," (Phil. 4:15).

Most Christians will say that they want to know God, but how much do you really want to know Him? Do you want to know Him so much that you are willing to share in His sufferings?

If you have ever seen the "Passion of the Christ," this imagery can terrify you, but are you willing to offer everything up to God in order to know Him. This is what I have been thinking about today during my devotional time. Sharing in the suffering with Christ that is a huge. This is what it means to offer everything up to God, "if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me while find it". Don't look over those words lightly. Are you willing to offer everything to God: security, money, safety, comfort, even your life?

Think about this before you sing another worship song about surrending. Is that really what you want? Are you willing to offer control over everything in your life to God? I still think about this daily because it so easy to get caught up in life and try to control things on our own. We live in a culture that says we can control everything. We can control how fast we get our food, where and who we do business with, what we want to be, when we want to have children..this list could go on and on. The reality is this if you really want to know God, you have to offer everything over to God.

You have to give God control over everything in your life, even control over your family and children. I always tell my mom, " you do know that God loves me more than you do". Think about the person you love the most, God loves that person more than you do.

God never said that life would be easy. He does say He will comfort us, give us peace, and eternal life... among other wonderful things. However, there will also be suffering. Are you will to suffer? Are you willing to offer everything to Christ?

In some countries, the moment you decide to become a Christian there is no question that you are surrending everything to God. Some people will lose everything the moment they decide to follow Jesus.

How much do you want to know God? " I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in death" (Phil. 3:10). The reality is that God wants our all so if you are not giving that to God think about what needs to change in your life. Life is short and God does not accept lukewarm people. This is an all or nothing kind of relationship, but sadly many of us are deceiving ourselves if we think we can have a relationship with God without surrending everything to Him.

The First Time I Got It..

Do you remember the first time you "got it"? The first time you realized you loved God with all your heart, soul, and mind?

My first time was in Junior High. I was at youth group hanging out with my friends and listening to the message. I remember feeling like I was learning about God for the first time in a way that I could understand and I started to understand His love for me. A few day later, my mom and dad explained that they wanted us to become members of Central and they wanted to know if I would want to get baptized. I asked my mom what it meant to get baptized and I specifically remember her saying in the midst of her explanation, "Jesus tells us to be baptized". She could of just stopped right there because I don't remember anything else. I remember thinking well if Jesus said to do it then I should do it. When I was baptized I did understand that Jesus came to die for my sins and through Him we have eternal life. But the thing that got me was, Jesus tells me to do it so why shouldn't I? I was just so in love with the Lord that I wanted to do anything that He told me to do. If it was important to Jesus then I wanted it to be important to me.

This mindset has stayed with me all of my life, I want what is important to Jesus to be important to me. Don't get me wrong there are moments in my life when I get distracted or throw myself a pity party because I get upset with some of the struggles in life. However, God is always there to remind me of His love or He sends someone into my life to remind me of His truth and love. God is faithful.

My love for God only becomes deeper the more I learn about His love. "Our love for Him always comes out of His love for us" (Crazy Love, p. 62). I try put aside what I know about earthly love in order to examine a heavenly, perfect love that only comes from God. The more I know Him the more I love Him, this is one of the reasons why I enjoy reading Scripture. God's Word just shows His love and desire for His creation.

I hope that my motivation in life is always love, His love. I don't serve and help others just to be helpful and serve, I serve because God loves them, even if they don't know it yet, and He is teaching me to love them. His love and compassion moves me to action.

Sick...

I remember when I was a kid sick days were fun. I think that was because the majority of the time I wasn't sick or I had my grandma to take care of me. Well, today was not very fun, but it was overall a good day. I don't like being sick, but I did get to spend my time with the Lord. For some reason, when I got sick this morning I thought, "God please don't let me sin in my pain". I thought of Job and his pain, and I wanted to cling to the Lord. I still wanted to praise God even though every muscle in my stomach ached from pain.

I got a few nice surprises today. My book "Crazy Love" arrived today (my mother mailed it to me over a month and a half ago, but God's timing is perfect). I have enjoyed reading through the first couple chapters today, but then I had to stop, because even though I read this book before I still want to be in awe of God and meditate on what I am reading. I also received a roll of toilet paper and two powerades from my big sister, Kelly. Those were such a blessing to have. Even though, today in the eyes of many could have been seen as a bad day, in reality it was pretty good. Mamí also made me the Costa Rican equivalent to chicken noodle soup, it was delicious.

One of my favorite quotes from "Crazy Love" by: Francis Chan from today's reading, "if life were stable, I'd never need God's help. Since it's not, I reach out for him regularly. I am thankful for the unknowns and that I don't have control, because it makes me run to God" (p. 45). This section was titled, "Thank God we are weak".