Blessings...

This past week I have been trying to find my new groove. Basically, I have been trying to find a new balance between homework, activities, ministry, and friends. I am not sure I have found that balance yet, but God has definitely given me the grace and energy to be able to do many things. For example, the other night I was exhausted and not in the mood to play volleyball, but I went and waited 30 minutes for people to show up. As I sat there I talked to God and then decided to leave, which of course I was happy about because then I could go home and sleep. Just then a family showed up to play, I was bummed because that meant I had to stay but God used a little boy that night to teach me a lesson about courage and strength and in the end I left not only energized but also full of joy, now that was definitely the Lord. Thanks God for the wonderful night.

On Saturday, I was able to go to Valle del Sol and see all of my kiddos. It was a blast! All of the kids were there and I got to see them for the first time since I arrived back to Costa Rica. We had a party because a group from Oklahoma was visiting and we got to watch a video for the first time with the kids about the Kingdom of Heaven. It was an animated Bible story based off of the parable of the hidden treasure and the pearl (Matthew 13:44-46). It was quite interesting since we do not have the convenience of up-to-date technology, but it worked and the kids had fun. I watched the eyes of one of my boys as he sat with his ear close to the speaker so that he could hear over the sounds of the other children and it was such a blessing to be able to see him learning and asking questions. Seeing a child's eyes light up as they learn new information and learn about God is such an incredible blessing.

God has reminded me this past week of the importance of having a childlike faith and the value of the kingdom of Heaven. Giving up everything and following God is something we all must do, He should be our focus and our source of life. God calls all of us to give up somethings for our own good in order to live in obedience to Him. However, then He calls us to give up somethings for His glory and His purposes in our lives. Anything that we give up does not compare to knowing and being in a relationship with the Lord of the Universe. As Paul said, "what is more, I count everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith".

I would also like to let you know that I am currently in the process of finding ways to become a full-time missionary. As many of you know, I have been praying about joining a missions organization, but as much as I would love to join an organization I have not felt called to any one particular organization. Now things may change over time, but as I begin taking these next steps towards full-time missions work I would like to ask you to join me in prayer. Pray for me as a seek for ways to continue in full-time cross-cultural ministry as either an independent missionary or for an opportunity to serve full-time with an organization. I am also currently trying to find a job in the States or overseas for at least 2 years in order to pay off some of my student loan debt from college so that I may go into full-time missions work. I would like to begin working as a full-time missionary somewhere in Latin America, but first I need to be debt-free so please pray for me as I look for jobs to pay off this debt. Thank you all for joining me and coming along side me in my walk with the Lord.

Processing changes...

Everything has changed.

My friends who were once at ILE have moved forward in their walks with the Lord and are continuing to go where the Spirit leads, and it is encouraging and exciting to see how God is working in their lives. At the same time though I miss them dearly. My Tico home is also different because this is no longer a home filled with strangers but rather a family, whom I love dearly and who has accepted me as one of their own. San Josè is no longer this giant city that I know nothing about, but now it is a city that I have grown to love and know. As with every tri-mester, my teachers at ILE have also changed and I am learning knew things about the Spanish language and meeting new people.

Many changes have taken place over the past several months. I can see these changes not only in my surroundings and in others, but also within myself. I have come to appreciate change and accept change no matter how hard it may be because one thing is always constant and stays the same...God and His love for us. All of the changes in our lives no matter how big or how small can glorify God and can be used by God to transform our minds and hearts. I am so thankful for the changes that have taken place within in my life these past several months because they are a testimony of God's love and grace.

This past week was my first week back at school and it was wonderful. It was crazy busy but I enjoyed it. I am really looking forward to this tri and seeing everything that God has in store. My time here in Costa Rica has been more than I could have ever have imagined and I can't imagine what God is going to do over the next 3 months. What a blessing it is to be here. God is good.

Please be praying for me as enter into my last tri at language school. Pray that my heart would continue to be softened and that my time here would glorify God. Please pray for the ministry that I work with on Saturdays called Valle del Sol and for the children that attend. If you could be praying over these things I would greatly appreciate it, thank you.

Returning "Home"

One of my friends said it best, "When you are here it is like that other world doesn't exist and you expect everything to stay the same as when you left". However thanks to the Internet you never really think that the other world doesn't exist when you are away because you have constant reminders popping up showing you that life does go on without you and things are changing.

Well many things have changed here in Costa Rica and this week I will begin to process those changes. Please pray for me as begin this new journey and as I spend sometime thinking about the changes that have taken place. I know very well that change is necessary on our walk with God and if you are being guided by the Spirit things may change faster than you expect, but we know that God is control of everything and He is good.

Unspeakable, unexplainable joy. That is what fills my heart and brings a smile to my face. Thank you Lord. I knew I would be excited to come back and happy, but I didn't expect this. God has made me so at peace with being here and so full of joy. I love being back and I so grateful to be here. The moment I saw Mami and Papi I just wanted to run to them and hug them, which I did. I just could not contain my joy and excitement any longer. I was so happy to see them and to finally be "home".

My home is no longer one specific location, but rather a mix of many places. Someone once said, "home is where the heart is". Well my heart is currently in Costa Rica and it stretches out to my friends and family in the States. For now, Costa Rica is my home and it feels good to be home.

Reflection on 2011 and my time at "home"

Here is some of my thoughts on 2011 from my private journal entry on January 3, 2012.

  I am now at peace in God with the woman He has made me to be. I am confident in who He is and His character. I feel joy in my life, not fleeing happiness, but true joy. Even though, there have been many low points in this past year God has constantly drawn me closer to Him and helped me grow in my understanding of Him.

2011 was a year full of struggles and victories. If there was one word that I would pick to sum up this past year that word would be LOVE. I know that word may not seem right to an outsider but to me it fits perfectly. God poured His love out to me in many ways and continued to show me His love even when I challenged it. God in an act of love allowed me to go through the valleys and depths of the water only to be lifted out by His love, grace, and forgiveness. Even through everything that happened this past year I never doubted God's love. I questioned Him, got angry with Him, complained to Him, and cried out to Him, but I always felt His love and He showed me His love through others, sermons, and daily life. There were signs along this journey that always pointed back to His love. He showed His love to me in very evident ways because He knew in those moments I needed to see it and feel it. 2011 was a year full of LOVE, God's perfect love. 

My time at home has been truly blessed. I have loved being able to spend time with friends and family. I can't believe how fast this time has flown by and how much things have changed over the past 7 months, it is incredible to be able to see the changes. I have been able to meet some of my newest family members and may I just add that they are all perfectly and wonderfully made. I just love all of their little faces, I know Levi Brooks is not exactly family but He is mighty cute and I love him just as much. :) Thanks again Anne and Josh for welcoming me into your home and allowing me to spend the night. I am now officially a fan of Settlers of Catan.

During my time at home, I have been able to go and visit some of my friends from Illinois and Wisconsin. I have had a blast catching up with everyone. During communion each week at church I thanked God for all of you (Even those of you who I did not get the opportunity to see while I was at home still know you were on my mind. I hope to see you when I return in April). Being at home and sitting in the pew in the church that I have grown up in and feeling this overwhelming sense of love was more than enough for me and brought tears to my eyes each week. I have been more than blessed with wonderful friends and family. Thank you all for being a part of my life. I have enjoyed laughing, sharing, and talking with all of you. I am looking forward to seeing you all again soon. Love you.