Last night, I was reading about the difference between courage and cowardice, and what it means to be courageous. I have been learning a lot about courage this tri-mester and I have to admit that I have not been very courageous. I often flee from things that stir up hard emotions for me and I often fear, both of those things do not show a life marked by courage. The Spirit has really been working on me in this area and transforming me. Well, as I went to bed last night I have to say I felt pretty good and content as I reflected on this past tri-mester and as I thought about the transformation that has been taking place in my life and how God has been at work. Then this morning, it was brought to my attention that there are some thoughts and emotions that I have been intentionally fleeing from instead of confronting them and bringing them before God. Needless to say I am a work in progress.
What thoughts and emotions have I been fleeing from? My thoughts about the change that is and will be taking place at school, in relationships, over Christmas, and in the future. My emotions of sadness, joy, and loss. Anyone that knows me knows that I am not a fan of change. To be completely honest I don't like change, but I am learning to appreciate it and see the divine beauty of it. Let me expand on this a bit.
As I went for a walk today I did what I normally do when I not sure how to put into words what I am feeling so I just ramble in prayer to God. I lay everything out before Him and then somewhere in my ramblings God slows me down. It is like, once I get everything out that is on my heart God is like, "Okay now just listen to me, my child, and think about what you just said". As I walked I prayed about everything that is in my heart concerning the changes coming up and I cried, something that I have not allowed myself to do until now. I have been intentionally trying to keep myself busy and distracted in order to not dwell on the changes that are and will be taking place.
Then as I continued to walk, God helped me to see His beauty and blessings in the changes. Change allows room for transformation, my life is living testimony to this. The beauty of change is that God makes everything new with every new change. He is faithful and sovereign. Change also allows room for growth and maturity in God. Change opens doors for new lessons to be learned and can help deepen our understanding of the Lord and His creation. Change is not something that should be feared but embraced.
This is not to say that change does not also bring about some sense of loss and sadness, but in that sadness you can also find peace and contentment in the Lord, because you know that He is in control over all things.
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