I have been enjoying spending time with family and friends. I have really loved being able to relax and just go with the flow of each day. Since I have been home, I haven't made any detailed plans (yes I know when some people are coming over to my house or when I may be going to visit someone but as to what we will do or what will happen that is always a mystery). I have loved not having a daily routine, there are things that I do throughout the day to bring in some sense of normalcy, but pretty much every day has been a surprise.
Since I have been home I have felt like God is trying to teach me something. I am not sure what this something is so I have been trying to sit to down and analyze things that He has been bringing to mind. I have started reading "Extrordinary Faith" by Sheila Walsh, but then I decided to put it down and wait til I get back to Costa Rica so that my friend Emily and I can read it together and discuss it. Now I have started reading "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan and watching the video sessions that go along with the small group curriculum. I am not sure what will come out of this reading or what I am suppose to be focusing on. However, God has been bringing relationships (and the different aspects of relationships) to my mind a lot lately. I am not sure what He is doing in this area of relationships, so I have just been trying to follow where I feel the Spirit is leading me. I hope to expand on this idea on relationships more later, but for now let me share something that has been on my heart today.
I know I have been gone for a while and that since I graduated college 2 years ago my friends have been moving around the country and that things have been changing in their lives. We have all been going through a period of transition, but that doesn't make this time any easier for any of us. I have been aware of these changes in my own life and in the lives of my friends, but today all of it really hit me pretty hard. I can't be here to comfort my friends when they are hurting and I can't be here to encourage them when they need it most. That is hard for me, especially when I can relate to their pain and I know how hard the road ahead of them is going to be. It hurts me to see the pain on my friends' faces especially when I know that they feel alone, I want with all my heart to say that I will be there for them now and in the future, but honestly I don't know if I will. I can't put exactly what I want to say into words so I am going to write out my prayer for them tonight...
God I have no doubt that I am where you want me to be in life. Even with all of the transitioning that is taking place around me you have given me this sense of peace. I know it has taken a while for me to get to this point, but I pray that my friends could feel this peace as well. I know that you know their hearts better than I do so God I know that you know how much they love you and desire a relationship with you. Please cover them in your grace and fill their lives with your joy and peace as they continue to live out their lives in obedience to you. God I am not sure why you do some of the things that you do or why you allow certain things to happen, but I do know that your ways are good. I pray that during their times of trails that they would turn to you. God open their hearts also to others so that they may live in community with other believers. Please bless my friends with more friends, widen their home teams Lord so that in their times of need that they might be encouraged by the faith and actions of others. May they find comfort in your Word and seek you with all of their hearts. God give them the strength to move when you say go and the strength to stay when you say stay. May their hearts never been hardened. I pray that in all circumstances Lord that they would learn to give thanks and I pray that even in the midst of their darkest moments that they would be able to find even the tiniest glimmer of light and hope. God your timing is perfect. You are good. I know you won't give them anything that they can't handle, so God in those moments where they feel broken and alone please lift them up and help them to see you. Open their eyes to see and their ears to hear. May their hearts always seek yours. I love them Lord, but I know you love them more so I lift their lives up to you. Thank you for allowing me to be apart of their lives and thank you for the memories that we share and continue to make no matter how far the distance may be between us. God I pray all of these things in your name, Amen.
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