When I was in Junior High I made a commitment to follow the Lord. In 2004, I dedicated my life to ministry and missions. Ever since then, I have been trying to live my life not for me, but for others. Of course, my selfishness gets in the way every now and then, but God always brings back to His truth. My life is not my own, I have been bought with a price. That is one thing I always try to remember. My focus needs to be on the Lord.
Ever since I arrived in Costa Rica, God has been peeling back the layers of my heart and revealing myself to me and revealing to me the areas in my life that need some improvements. There are certain areas in my life that need to be removed and filled with God's truth, and the only way to do that is by getting rid of everything that is not of God. This is not an easy process, but it is a necessary process. You see I don't want God to use just part of me, I want God to have all of me. My desire is to live for Him alone and to follow Him where ever He leads me.
Well this week He led me to the door of the ILE counseling office. I made an appointment yesterday and I had my appointment today. I went there because God has been working in my life and things have been changing and I am not sure how to deal with those changes or what to do about them. I needed a fresh set of eyes to look into my life and to help give me some direction. You see I don't want to be someone who 2 years from now joins a mission organization and goes into another country then has a mental breakdown and goes back home, because I didn't work through my issues before hand. I want to work through them now, because I love the Lord that much and I know that something in my life isn't right and I want things to be right. I want God to have all of me and God wants all of me, otherwise He wouldn't be bringing all of these things to my attention. He would just leave me the way that I am, but thank you Lord for not leaving me where I am. Thank you Lord for looking beyond who I am and seeing not only me, but who I can be in You. I love that He loves me enough to change me.
Apart from the Lord I can do no good thing, it is only in Him and through Him that I stand and that I live.
When I said that I was going to Costa Rica as part of my missionary training well this is it. Learning the language is only part of my training the other part is talking place within in me. God is preparing me for the future, for what is to come, and I am so excited to see what God has in store.
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