I can be happy just about anywhere....

I have been very happy these past few weeks. I am loving my work at church and I am learning a lot about how to organize and plan events, as well as managing volunteers and keeping volunteers. Also, I have been able to spend a lot more time with the children.  This past week at the church the kids had their A.O.K. (Acts of Kindness) Week, where the children served all week both at the church and in the community. Seeing the children serve and help others really touched my heart: they donated food, raised food for the food pantry, served food, helped clean the church and a local golf course, and they also had the opportunity to help some recent tornado victims. It was amazing to see the children serving and to see how God is working in their lives.

I jumped out of bed....

I wrote this last Tuesday but forgot to publish it so here it is......This morning I woke up full of energy and ready to go.  I looked at my clock at 6:15am and thought why can't it be 7:15 already so for the next hour I rolled around in bed until finally it was 7:14am, that was good enough for me!  I jumped up out of bed and got ready to go, I even managed to have some extra time this morning to write in this blog.

Most of you might be wondering okay you are happy, I get it.  However, I have been listening to a set of sermons that I have downloaded at work from a conference and this guy, Chris Lemke has been talking to me every morning about having a child-like faith.  Chris calls this something like having the okayness of a 3 year old.

A 3 year old does not analyze the little problems, which I often find myself doing and wasting time over.  A 3 year old does not ask very many questions about someone who they are meeting for the first time, so there is very little judgment that takes place in the mind of a 3 year old. I was walking the other day with my host mom and we passed a little boy wearing a diaper and a t-shirt standing inside his house looking out the door. My guess is that he is about 2 years old and while we walked past his house he looks at us outside and yells hi and waves. He doesn't care that he is in a diaper standing in doorway and yelling at complete strangers. He is just concerned about the people that are outside his house. I wonder what would happen in our churches if we had the okayness of a 3 year old?

Desks are not for me.....

      I love interacting with people and with children so I am having kind of a hard time sitting still at a desk.  Anyone that knows me from college knows that I can't sit in one spot for very long.  My friends and I have had many good conversations and fun times during our breaks from homework, which basically consisted of leaving the library and walking around campus for five minutes before returning to the libary.  Within a two hour period I could have had at least two walks/breaks in.

     However, I do love that my work at the church serves a specific purpose and is heading towards a specific goal in reaching out to the children and families in the Waukesha area.  Everything I do has purpose/meaning behind it so no task is just busy work, although at times I will admit it does feel like it is.  Right now, I am just adjusting to a new environment.  I wanted a new experience and I definately found one.  God has been amazing through and in this all.  Everyday I am continuing to learn new things about Him. 

   For instance, I often wonder you know where God is going to lead me and what His will is for my life, but the answer is that I already know.  Yes, I might not know the specifics but as long as I am loving Him, loving others, and servingeverything is going to be okay.  I don't have to keep wondering where God is going to lead me or what might happen next because if I lose my selfishness and find myself completely made alive in Him than I already know what His will is for my life. It is in the ordinary every day life that His Will can be seen. It doesn't matter where I am or who I am with as long as my relationship and heart is right with God. The only thing that we are given is today this moment, we are not promised tomorrow.

"Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." - James 4:13-14

I have been thinking a lot about the future and worrying about the future because nothing seems completely clear what is going to happen or where I will be.  However, I know the only thing that matters is the here and now. I am loving God, loving others, and serving with all of my heart.

What a Blessing!

  Okay so everyone goes through these dry spells of feeling like God is not close, even though we still always know that he present (omnipresent).  According to the book that I have been meditating on for a while, Experiencing God through Prayer by Madame Guyon, the author says that God sometimes uses those moments to allow our faith to be tested.  Those moments of feeling distant from God can allow us to really grow in our faith. I say all of that to help you understand that even though for the past couple of months I have felt distant from God, it is in that "distance" that I have never felt closer or more loved by God. This is not to say that God's love for me has changed but rather I am now beginning to understand what His love really means. I have been beginning to understand through the practice of prayer, repentance, and confession how much God really loves me and wants me to be happy. Even though, those moments of feeling God's presence right next to me comes and goes I know that God will never leave me or forsake me, I know He loves me! My faith is changing as I continue to use those times of "distance" to fully devote myself to Lord and strengthen my faith. 
  However, even though I have felt some "distance" at times....when I do again feel God's presence, it has been amazingly different! It is almost like saying hi to an old friend and feeling a sense of peace and happiness once you see that person again. God is always present but during those times when I do feel alone I use those moments to really take ownership of my faith and trust in God. It is like saying, "Even though God I don't feel your presence right now, I know you still love me. Thank you for trusting me enough to let me do this one on my own, my your Holy Spirit still guide me and lead me."  Your relationship with God has to be one of trust and honesty, you can't hide anything from God.
  Needless to say I have been blessed  a lot over the past few months and the blessings continue to come. It is great when you are able to look back at your life and see God's hand in everything.  Even now in Wisconsin, God is still continuing to bless me and use me in new ways that I never could have imagined. He has placed me with a wonderful family, I could not have asked for a more perfect family for me. He has also taken care of all my needs and still He continues to give me opportunities to reach out to others, what a blessing!
 

It's Been A While...

   I am leaving for Wisconsin tomorrow to work as a Children's Minister at a church called RiverGlen Christian Church. I am super excited and I can't wait to go to work on Monday! (I know I have never said that before)

   This past few months of transitioning in my life have been hard but amazing! I have been able to get to know some amazing new people at a small group in Bloomington and I have been able to become closer to a couple of great friends. I am beginning to see God in new ways. Two things that I learned this past few months is that no one is perfect except the Lord alone and that  you should should hate what is evil and cling to what is good.  I know that these lessons seem obvious but if you ponder these two thoughts for a while you can see how these lessons need to be applied to your daily life.

   We live in a society where we think we need to be a certain way or act a certain way to live a happy life, this is false. No one is perfect but God alone. True happiness cannot be found outside of God. I dare you to try to live a happy life without God, it can't be done. Millions of people have tried and failed...alcohol does not make people happy (ask an alcoholic), money does not make people happy (money comes and goes, just ask Adolf Merckle), and most of the time people do not even make other people happy (have you ever been in crowd of people and still felt alone?).  Never assume that everyone around you has it all together because we are all human. The pursuit of happiness requires sacrifice and work but it can be done (just ask me). 

   On this pursuit of happiness besides loving the Lord, you must also love your neighbors as yourself. This can be hard to do because this means that you have to love that annoying person next door or that co-worker who doesn't do anything right. This even means you have to love your family, and when you come from a broken or abusive home this is not an easy task and most often times can be the most difficult. It is easy to give grace to those outside of our families but sometimes it is our families that need your grace the most. True love means forgiving those who have hurt you and choosing to love them anyways just because, no strings attached. This means turning the other cheek.  Even if you know that your chances of getting hurt again are high you choose to love them anyways. Sounds easy, right? Think again. Remember no one is perfect, we all need forgiveness and grace.

   That was the first thing that I have learned, the second is this to hate what is evil and cling to what is good.  Evil should be hated because it is the opposite of good. I always thought I should never hate anything, I was wrong.

Spiritual Conflict

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. " 1 Peter 5:7-8a

This past year, I have grown a lot in the Lord and I have learned a lot about who I am as a person and who God is.  This is not to say that I have not made mistakes but rather I am now looking and seeing my mistakes through God's grace and my sinfulness.  Self-control is something that I personally struggle with and is something that I have worked hard at developing.  Every day, I make a conscious effort to make sure that my life is in line with God's word and Christ's example.  I love the imagery in 1 Corinthians that Paul uses of a race, and how he talks about everyone who participates in a game  under goes strict training.

"They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:25-27

There is a struggle that takes place when you try to follow God.  There are times when I feel like I have to beat my body to make it a slave not only to me but to God.  There are times when I don't want to go to church and when I don't feel like reading my Bible. There are times when I don't want to volunteer to help someone in need and there are times when I feel like being lazy.  However, it is during those times that I have to push those thoughts and my feelings aside and look at the bigger picture. It's not about me.

"Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of suffering." 1 Peter 5:8b-9

Our minds is one of the biggest battle grounds that we will ever face in trying to resist the devil.  It is in our minds that he wants control but we have to resist him and be self-controlled and alert.  Satan does not try to destroy your life all at once, no he does it over time.  Like, "oh I am going to read my Bible tomorrow, not today". Then two weeks later you still have not picked it up or every time that you were about to something just came up, coincidence I don't think so.  I have found that the times when I am not in God's Word, is the also the times when Satan tries to attack me the hardest.  I then start to get really down and strangely enough things just keep going wrong, one right after the other.  It is at those really low moments, that I dive back into God's Word it is like a wake up call, "What in the world have you been doing, see what you have been missing out on".  Sometimes we need help from others to keep our minds oe the right track.  Reading the Word is so important, we need to stand firm in our faith and build our foundation in order to resist the devil.

Family

  I went home this past weekend and I started to think about how important family is to me.  For me, there is nothing like coming home and being greeted by the ones you loves.  I love going home and spending time with them.  I love everything about my dysfunctional but some how manageable and lovable family.  We are all far from perfect but no matter what either one of us does or how much trouble we get into, we always know that our family is there for us.   I know if something ever happened to anyone in my family there would be a long line of people there ready to help out and tackle any problem that needs to be solved.
  It just amazes me how God is able to put a family together.  Growing up, I never doubted my parents love for me.  My parents and I were talking the other day about how wonderful our family is and I was wondering how did God create such a great family so I started talking to my parents.  During our conversation my dad said, "Your mother and I gave both you and your brother our lives".  I started laughing and told them, "Who are you kidding? We are your lives," and then we all started laughing, because we all know it is true.  After our talk, I realized that the reason why this family is so great is because of the love that we share with God, one another, and others.
  Like an excellent parent, both of my parents have given up their lives for their children and there has never been a moment when I doubted my parents love for me.  I know that no matter what happens I always have them to lean on.  My dad is the greatest man I know and, besides my grandfather, the hardest worker I know.  My mother is one of the funniest and craziest people I know and my best friend.  My brother is just awesome, he knows what he wants, works hard, and is very smart.  We all are not perfect but we still love one another. 
  I remember when I first came to school at Lincoln Christian University and I was surprised that there were so many people who did not have a close relationship with their parents or family.  It just amazed me because I never thought there was anything "abnormal" about my family's relationship with one another, I just figured that most Christian families were as close as us.  However, I quickly learned that my family was different, we are close and we get along with one another, not all the time, but the majority of the time.  Then when we were talking as a family the other day, I realized how cool my parents really are and how even when I was in grade school, I had the coolest parents.  I had the best room parents in elementary school and even now my friends still continue to tell me how awesome my parents are. 
  According to world standards, my family has every reason to fall apart and be broken.  Not all of us are related by blood and my parents have two rebellious children.  However, we are able to stay strong in our relationships with one another because my parents encourage me and my brother to do better in life and they love us more than they love themselves.  While growing up, I had the parents who would tell me I would have to be home before all the other children and still even when I was a senior in high school I had the earliest curfew.  I can still remember my mother saying, "there is nothing good that happens after dark".   I can't count how many times my father would show up to a friend's house and embarrassingly take me home because I never called to let them know where I was or who I was with.  I just look back on those moments now and laugh, I thank God for giving me parents who love me enough to make sure I stay on the right path and who love me enough to "make me" go to church.  Without their parental guidance, I don't know where I would be.
   Building a strong family is not easy but even with all the hardships it is well worth it.  My brother and I still joke about our parents but both of us know that we would do anything for them any day and we both love them both dearly.  

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother"- which is the first commandment with a promise- "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." - Ephesians 6:1-4

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." - Proverbs 22:6